What a Seminar!

Oh this is a laugh!
I am sure it will be a wonderful seminar, but I just read on DCN about an "Update on Mould Breakfast Seminar" happening on May 13th. Somehow I can just picture it; mould on the eggs, bananas, orange juice ... what an appetizing seminar!

That among the articles about another 61,000 construction jobs lost in March, mostly in the residential sector. Maybe commercial carpentry is a just fine place to be right now. Maybe after the recession (and my apprenticeship) I can head back into the field for more residential-based work.

Jane's Walk

Whoa! I think I should create a post on Jane Jacobs … but because I also want to bake, make dinner, and read about framing (construction) I will limit this post to a simple summary and listing.

Jane’s Walk is a series of walking tours happening in different cities and communities across North America where local residents give guided tours of different areas, telling the stories and history (or herstory!) of each area as they see it. This is the second year Jane’s Walk has been held, and I would like to go this year.

To anyone who would like to join me, I can only go to walks on the Saturday, and only as time permits, but if you are interested, please cast your vote, and we can head off! And PLEASE, somebody has got to help me out here (like Dad, maybe?) research these walks, because I want to go on all of them that I have listed, but there is too much overlap! So I need to narrow it down to two, or maybe three walks total, but there are eight that I'm interested in!

More details for each of these walks, and a complete listing can be found on the Jane's Walk website.

This listing is not complete, but these are a few walks I am interested in:


Junction-High Park: West Bend Community Walk
* Duncan Farnan
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 9:45am
* Walk: 2 hours

Davenport: The Stairs Along Lake Iroquois
* Leehe Lev
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 10:00am
* Walk: 2 hours

Downtown Sculpture Walk
* Charles Campbell
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 10:30am
* Walk: 1.5 hours

King-Spadina: One of 'The Two Kings'
* Paul Bedford, Margie Zeidler
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 10:30am – 1:pm
* Walk: 2.5 hours

Fort York: 200 years of Lakefront Development
* Rene Malagon
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 1:00pm
* Walk: 1.5 hours

Jane-Finch Neighbourhood Tour
* The Spot Youth group of Jane/Finch Centre
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 1:00pm
* Walk: 2 hours

Victoria Village Adventure Walk
* Victoria Village Residents
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 1:15pm
* Walk: 1.5 hours

Dovercourt Village
* Lewis Poplak
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 1:00pm
* Walk: 1.5 hours

Jungle Jaunt: Lawrence Heights is Not What You Think
* Students of Sir Sanford Fleming Academy
* Saturday, May 2, 2009
* 2:00pm
* Walk: 1.5 hours

A tribute to Music

Song. It has passed on so many traditions. It is the music of the soul, and soul music. It can be the bridge to the divine. It is written for love, to mourn, to grieve, to celebrate, and just for the sake of music.

Music is a huge part of our emotional expression. The music we listen to, sing, and perform helps define who we are as people, for better or for worse. Choose your music wisely. Base it on quality of lyrics, and who you want to be. Choose your music to be something you are proud of sharing with others. There are different kinds of music that are incredibly demeaning to others, and that's the kind of music that is destructive. It's full of anger, it encourages racism and sexism, it encourages problem solving by violence. That kind of music defines you too, if that's what you listen to.

But there are so many wonderful kinds of music out there, and so many ways to express yourself through it. My sister plays in a band that plays some jazz and swing, a very good friend of mine is a piano accompanist for a choir, and she also plays in many concerts outside of that, I have an acquaintance who sings professionally(?), and a classmate of mine and I just sing in the car along with the radio.

One group that performs quality music is the Nylons. They have been around since 1979, when they started singing gigs in clubs across Toronto. Completely acappella, (well, ALMOST completely acappella - sometimes they use a tambourine, for example) they let their voices be the harmony and beat that instruments would otherwise provide. I was reminded of them, oddly enough, in a carpentry course I am currently taking, and the song was not "Chain Gang", although that would be fitting considering the kind of work we were doing, but "Up the Ladder to the Roof".

This kind of music is pretty much as close to pure music as possible: all you use is the sound of your own voice, as does the wind, the birds, and the sound of the rain. Sure your voice can make so many different sounds, as the rain makes a different sound for everything it hits, and we can play different instruments, but when all rain has is water, or all you have is your own voice, you can still make music.

And we shall let expression ring
Hear freedom in our singin' ...

Wish List

* Tickets to the Nylons, performing at Markham Theatre on September 26th!!! OMGOMG!
* One of those tea strainer thingies: Yeah! I got one, thank you, Mom!
* Another Hot Stone Massage (or three!)
* Loose fitting Hoodie. Tastefully done of course! (Anything from Winnie the Pooh to ROOTS to SHERIDAN/GeorgeBrown/York ... it's all good, just as long as it's somethin'!
* Subscription to Dwell Magazine: Yeah! I got one, thank you, Mom!
* I just discovered my "Holst's Planets" CD that "Erica" burnt for me @ Sheridan is cracked ... don't know how that happened! But I will need another copy of it!
* Of course, charitable donations (Canadian Food for the Hungry Women's Sewing Class, or School Dues for a Year)
* More than "Anything Clothes" would be a shopping trip to Yorkdale. I go through there once a month and never buy anything ...
* On the concept of never buying anything ... I never buy chocolate bars for myself. I love the mint ones from Laura Secord, Coffee Crisp, and Caramilk ...
* Code White
*Iced - By Judith Alguire: I went through that book three times without stopping! Cover-cover-cover-cover-cover-cover!
* A sturdy bag for tools. Would have to be MINIMUM 24" long, as it will need to potentially accommodate a 24" level.

I want to own:
* Kung-Fu Panda
* Anna and the King (with Jodie Foster)
* Contact (with Jodie Foster)
* Paycheck
* Anne of Green Gables, original (and maybe sequel) in DVD
* Starwars 4/5/6 in DVD
* League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
* Pitch Black / Chronicles of Riddick
* When Night is Falling
* Better than Chocolate
* The Time Machine (2002 Release)
* The GridIron Gang
* Fire (Deepa Mehta)
* Born into Brothels
* The Chronicles of Narnia; Prince Caspian (the DVD with all the extra stuff!)
* The Golden Compass
* The Nativity Story
* Spirited Away


I want to watch:
* A Wrinkle in Time
* The Secret Life of Bees
* Slumdog Millionaire
* Lady in the Water
* Bride and Prejudice
* Daredevil
* Drumline
* Flushed Away
* The Last Mimzy
* Nim's Island
* No Reservations
* Over the Hedge
* Peter Pan (Directed by P.J. Hogan)
* Pixar Short Films Collection
* Rocky movie ... ?
* The Time Machine, released 2002
* The Spiderwick Chronicles
* Stardust
* Steamboy
* Howl's Moving Castle




The list will continue ...

An Avalanche of Days

[start of quote] Then the tree actually did begin to shake. It whipped forward and back once, then splintered into pieces as the biggest avalanche in a hundred years roared down the side of Princess Margaret Mountain and smashed everything in its path.
Far uip on the mountain, on a cliff overlooking a particularly steep gully, a stone had fallen. It was a chunk about the size of a raven. When it plopped into the gully it sent a small force out into the surrounding snow. There was enormous power in that snow. Each flake was a crystal of latent energy, one among billions, poling up day after day, covering the slopes, filling the gullies, getting heavy, getting ready … As the stone hit, the interlocking flakes – just barely touching each other, all prickly and uncomfortable – started to slide.
The avalanche was small at first, quietly carrying the stone slowly down a single gully. But the slide began to move faster, as more and more snowflakes fell into step, until the gully was wall-to-wall with churning whiteness, snaking through the narrow places and flinging itself into the air as it bounced around the corners.
The slide overflowed the gully. Cracks ripped across the slopes on either side as the snowpack collapsed there, too. A gigantic slab comes as it broke loose, a mountainside of snow moving faster, so strong that when the blast hit the trees they snapped off. The snow carried the shattered wood and limbs and branches and needles farther, down and down with a noise like thunder …
The last of the slide reached the flats and stopped. A sprinkling of conifer needles settled over the huge heap. There, sitting on the surface, was the stone that had started it all.
The stone came to rest directly over Carrot Creek. In the spring it would melt out of the avalanche debris and drop into the stream, where it would be tugged, tumbled and rolled for centuries toward the Bow River, then on to the Saskatchewan River, the Nelson River and eventually the slat waster of Hudson Bay. “Gee,” the rock said to another stone, lying beside it in the snow, “the system works!” [end of quote]

This quote was taken from pages 143-144, of the novel “Raven’s End” by Ben Gadd. The passage was a bit out of character for the book, as it was the first time Gadd gave an inanimate object a voice. It was a kind of segue of sorts from the story line, a soliloquy. Maybe that’s why it stood out in my mind. Maybe he had written this passage as a poem, and just wanted to publish it somewhere, so he placed it in this story. I take this as a mini-story within the larger one, and I think it is worth quoting. The entire book is a wonderful read.

For me, this quote provides a good example of an avalanche of days. If you perform actions on one day, and repeat them for hundreds of days, with the end in mind of achieving a specific goal, those days will add up. Your action will become your habit, and your habit will become your character. Then all it will take is one symbolic stone, and when it drops all of everything you have worked so hard to achieve will finally be set in motion. Just as the stone did, you will finally see that everything really works. Sigh, I hope I can build up good habits, while I wait for my stone one day to drop!

The Bustling City of Port Colborne in April

We went as a family today to Port Colborne. It was an Easter Weekend Family Event; one that my Dad chose. This would have been one of those days where “it’s the journey, not the destination that counts” would have described the day perfectly!
We all spent time together today; we did not interact with each other for every minute of the day, all day long, but we did spend quality family time together. Do I dare quote an RVing commercial … that we should “never confuse the devices that connect us, with the moments that keep us together”. It doesn’t quite fit, But spend moments that keep us together today.

So yes, Port Colborne was not very exciting, but there were a lot of wonderful moments in today. We got up by 6:30am. I uploaded the previous 200 pics from Mom’s camera onto her laptop. We were out of the house by about 8:30, and in 45 minutes, we stopped for a Tim Hortons. We read on the way; Raven’s End, the book we are currently reading right now as a group. I tried to sew the buttons on “my tubes!” (long story), didn’t work, not in the car.

When we got to Port Colborne, we had lunch at Walter’s … a restaurant on West St. Good food, and fast and friendly service. It was a nice place for lunch. We then did some browsing in a couple of the shops in the area; the all of two streets that had any craftsy type shops we found in the city. I got ideas from a 10,000 Villages on Mom’s stationary project that I may one day finish … and at a scrapbooking store – Damn those were some pretty creative crafts (I didn’t like the scrapbooking stuff, but they had other very creative ideas there). We then went for coffee, cookies, carrot cake and a latte at a corner Coffee Café (don’t remember the name), but it also had a nice atmosphere.

It felt like a quintessential small town; with a population of only 19,000 it had a close-knit community feeling, with notices for community issues all over the place. The two that we saw today were for Corporal Tyler Brooks; Port Colborne’s fallen hero, with everyone posting notices to say he will be remembered, and to honor him. He was one of the soldiers that Don Cherry honored a few weeks ago on either March 28th, or April 4th on Coaches Corner. It’s pretty amazing that notices in his memory were all over that city. Something else that was all over the city, just as much on people’s lawns as anywhere else, were notices pertaining to the Save Our Hospital Rally. We drove past their hospital, and it didn’t look in top notch shape, but it definitely deserves to be there.

It’s population is only 19,000. Sadly, it seemed a bit like there wasn’t much “get up and go” in this city. Maybe it’s still asleep for the most part. Maybe it really comes alive in late May, when the weather is good enough to start recreational boating. There were three beaches in this tiny city, and I think three marinas as well, but they were all mostly deserted. There were also several stores that were closed up, and even in the middle of the town areas, it looked like there were several places that could use at least a good power washing and a fresh coat of paint!

We then pretty much drive the entire city, going through all the side roads and residential streets, and if we had counted the houses, we could quite possibly have accounted for a good quarter of the population! I actually loved the houses there! The roofs were absolutely beautiful! I would love to actually build a cup roof like many of those houses had. Some of the houses were very plain, and some were absolutely gorgeous, but they were all relatively quiet. I have seen some houses in Azure and Dwell that are out of this world, so even the ones that had character and personality in Port Colborne were not quite as modern and edgy as some of the magazine homes, but they were still very beautiful. Where I wouldn’t chose to live in Port Colborne, many of those houses had me drooling, but not to live in, so much as to build!

When we were finished with Port Colborne, we headed home, but our day wasn’t over yet. On the ride home, we stopped at a Tim Horton’s in Oakville … for yet another coffee, yeah, more coffee. We had a small dinner at home, just leftovers, and now I am here writing Blog posts, my sister is organizing her sheet music, and my Mother is downstairs watching her Hockey Night in Canada, which I also watched a part of, albeit small tonight!

Lighting Up

Some people are instantly addicted to nicotine like some cats love catnip. Some people become addicted to nicotine over time, and for others, the chemical addiction is never the issue. For some, it is purely a social activity. It becomes okay to talk, or to just stand around in silence, and “share” the smoking. It’s a reason to create a group that others cannot enter, and enjoy the power of peer pressure. It satisfies the need of belonging, and is the glue that binds a group together. It’s all about the aesthetic. For others, it’s all about doing something. When they are not busy their mind will wander, they may become nervous, or their brain becomes distracted, and like biting your nails, it becomes something to do absent-mindedly while your brain works.

If you are in the middle of the habit though, you only really see it from your own paradigm. You have your reasons for smoking, and smoking began as a way to solve a problem/issue/fill a void in your life, and over time became a habit. So rewind, and figure out what it was for you. Now for fear of losing my audience, I will try not to mention the reasons for not smoking. People know those already.

Maybe the more important thing about smoking is that it began for a reason; it really did solve a problem. Maybe that is the same with all addictions. Stopping smoking can be scary, it can result in the resurgence of the physical, social, and behavioral symptoms that you began to smoke in order to fix. So that brings you face to face with your own reality. Why did I start to smoke, and it’s not just quitting for some, but also now I have these problems back, and what am I going to do to fix these issues/problems? I’ll just reach for a … Umm, let me think about it. While I’m thinking, I’ll just go out for a … Crap. Okay, this isn’t working.

For some, it’s finding an image, and sticking with it. One guy I worked with at Canadian Tire was telling me one time the story of how he quit smoking. One of his duties was to clean up the parking lot, and it was through cleaning up the cigarette butts, and picturing putting all those cigarette butts, along with all the other garbage that he swept up, into his system, that made him quit. I applaud him for his strength, as that image alone was something he held onto to force himself to break his habit. He was a good guy; nice to talk to, and had some very interesting insights if you took the time to listen to him.

In another case, my instructor from SCAS is a perfect example of just finding something else, at least during the workday, to fill the void. You will always find something. He smoked only a few years ago. A lot has changed in his life over the past five years, including even taking the position as an instructor for the SCAS program in the first place. When he started that position, he still smoked. I don’t know who he was before, but right now I knew him to be someone who was a pretty good teacher, and who thoroughly enjoyed carpentry and renovations. He also loved joking around, and had so many stories to tell. He shared all these jokes with the class all the time, and I really learned a lot from him. I don’t know what exactly he put in the void of the cigarettes, but I know that he always had energy, and he didn’t have a minute in his day to spare. So he definitely filled his time with something. Maybe he just learned to do more of what he did before, and like pouring too much concrete into a form, or gaps in the footings between the form and the earth, his better habits, and his outgoing energetic personality just spilled over. Is he a good example? What, of a saint – no! But he is at least an example of someone who said “bugger this, I’m quitting, and I will bloody well survive just fine without smoking”, and he does.

Apparently he was all about the smoking before, even making benches in the “smoking hut” for him and his students who smoked. Now he is spending his time making shelves for his daughters instead. Pretty damn cool, I think. Proof that quitting is possible? Definitely.

Construction permits in Ontario

Tighten up your toolbelts, guys, ‘cause times may be getting a bit thinner!
One of the best ways to cope through the upcoming few months may be with “all-salad diets”, as one of my previous classmates jokes about being on right now. He has worn two toolbelts at once in the past, but he may find that he has to tighten them both up in the times ahead. Well, he may be okay, actually, but the province, on the whole, isn’t doing quite so good right now.

Alex Carrick, the Chief Economist at REED Construction Data recently conducted a small interview on Daily Commercial News, where he stated that private, non-residential construction starts in Canada have sunk rapidly in first quarter this year. He also mentioned that with corporate profits declining, he sees very little improvement in new investments until the first quarter next year. As a closing comment, he passed the ball off to the public sector, suggesting that based on the lack of private sector profits, they won’t be in a hurry to invest until the economy, and their profits, pick up, even through they have received tax cuts to continue over the next 4 years. Through the entire year, Carrick states that there is only 54 million square feet of non-residential building starts forecasted for this year; the lowest start since 1970. It will be up to infrastructure spending plans to hold up the building economy, and how fast they can get their projects started.

Looking at StatCan, a recent survey (published on Monday, April 6th) shows that the value of building permits fell from $4.39 billion to $3.7 billion in February, with the largest decreases in the non-residential sector in Ontario, where the value of building permits fell from $2.3 billion to $1.6 billion. Looking at the chart StatCan provided in their article, last year February it was at about $5.6 billion, February 2007 AND 2006 it was at about $4.8 billion. So this year has definitely hit a trough, but what does long-term history look like (over the last quarter century?) Well, employment in general in Canada hasn’t gone very well either. October 2008 was our last peak, but since then, the country has seen job losses over 357,000 jobs. The article itself stated that this has been the largest decline in a five-month period since 1982. That would give us a good look at the fact that 25 years ago it was EXACTLY this bad.

Where has this decrease come from? Well, mostly in Ontario and Alberta all across the board, but this post is focusing on construction. (… one guy in my formwork course therefore may have traveled provinces straight from the frying pan right into the fire!) These decreases came specifically in the areas of medical buildings, and educational institutions where the permit value fell over 50% in February. The decrease for commercial permits was only 20%, coming from office and recreational buildings; both being areas that showed the greatest increase in B.C., and with the 2010 Olympic Games starting February 12th, it’s no wonder that B.C. is continuing to build happily.

The only increase in permit value in Ontario was a 14% increase in the industrial sector. This comes, however, right after a 50% decrease in January.

In the residential sector, things are mostly unchanged right now, with only a 0.3% decrease in the value of permits, largely due to a 10.6% increase in the permits for “multi-family dwellings”, meaning a structure or site that will house more than 5 families. Again, Ontario is one of the provinces that has shown a decline even in this area though, with B.C. again leading in this area. Toronto also has shown declines for all areas, across the board (commercial, residential, industrial, institutional, recreational … ALL components) with B.C. leading the way in pretty much all areas. Even so, looking across the value of building permits, across all areas, by city since October, none of the stats look incredibly good. Vancouver has gone down from $456 million in October to $330 million in February, and Toronto has gone down from $840 million in October to $569 million in February, but Toronto spiked to $1.09 billion in December.

Lessons in hammering, and correcting mistakes

Okay, one comment I made in my blog yesterday was offensive. That comment has been removed. I have since been reminded, in a very strange way, about also correcting these kinds of mistakes; mistakes in my behavior. I am trying to correct myself, and yet still have off days, where I write with a biting edge. The one comment I made in my post was off, especially considering the topic my post was about, which is about the wonder of human life, the God-given blessing that we all are even to exist … and then I demean people who may read the post. That was pretty stupid, and inconsiderate. The papers on people’s walls do not define their intelligence. The way people say things also does not define their intelligence, but the choices they make every day define the quality of person they are, and how intelligent they are. I should be recognizing and celebrating everyone’s differences, and realizing that people are smarter than I am, and stronger than I am, but maybe just in other ways.

So, what is the classroom lesson today that sparked this perspective on this blog post? It was an instructor of mine critiquing my hammering technique, and mentioning to me that if your nail goes on an angle, then stop and correct it right away, don’t keep chasing the nail, hammering it at all angles, as though you mean it to do that. Correct mistakes, even if they aren’t yours (you didn’t hammer that nail off course on purpose, but you still did it!) Now you can look like an idiot and chase your actions as if you meant to do that, or you can correct it right away. And then if you keep missing the nail, don’t keep swinging randomly, re-set-up your angle and position if necessary, and start again. Take the time to be aware of your angle, your aim, your position, your strength, technique, the direction you are going in, and correct them right away if something is messed up. If I can learn these lessons well, and continue to put my full attention during class into carpentry, I will have corrected my bad aim, and will still continue to learn and make progress in the course.

I should not, however, take my blog opinions into the course, or my course opinions into my blog. They would not do well to be mixed. I do apologize for making that comment, and thinking that way. A lesson to be practiced tomorrow, as well as my hammering technique, and building from the bottom up and the framing in, is to celebrate the different intelligences of others, respect those people, and not shun them for being different than my own.

The Wonder of You

I have heard of Deepak Chopra before, but never heard his words. I stumbled across them on YouTube today, and in these videos, he encompasses a broad range of topics. In one video he discusses our physical beginning, and the wonder of human cells and human life. In 20 replications, the single cell that began "you" divided into over a million cells, and in 50 replications, you had over a hundred trillion cells, and each of those cells does over 6 trillion things in a second. All these cells communicate with one another to know what all the neighboring cells are doing at all points in time. Now, throw in consciousness, which is a mirror of the "supreme genius of the universe". Try that on for size as being a special creation of God, and truly blessed!

Now, once we are about 20 or so, just to pick a random age, we should be able to acknowledge that we have responses to things; reactions. But between the stimulus and the reaction, there is a pure, non-judgmental "witness" in all of us. A part of us that JUST sees everything; it absorbs information and facts. To bring out the independent, non-evaluative, non-analytical, non-judgmental witness is one goal meditation seeks to achieve. (In my opinion, that is also living in the moment, and allowing ourselves to take in joy, sadness, pain, boredom, happiness, comfort, whatever is there in the moment). Then again, all those things I just mentioned are emotions, and therefore subjective, as opposed to objective reactions to a situation.

Chopra also speaks of disease in this video, and states that "fear-engendered responses" make us more susceptible to disease, and that we can help to go beyond these responses through meditation. That I believe. If you do not believe in anything above you, and are prone to fear and lack of trust, your stress level will surely increase, and you will become more prone to disease. But if you allow yourself to believe in something else out there, some energy, some life connectedness, and trust in that, things become a little easier for you. It's part of faith, and spirituality. I know, for example, that if I trust in God, and that if I do what I feel to be right, and if I do intelligent things that hold up my "end of the deal" to take care of myself and others, then it follows that I am, in return, taken care of.

Chopra speaks of intuition as that Third Eye Chakra, almost. He states that entering a state of meditation (restful response) ... I guess would almost be the same as being deep in prayer, would open up a channel between your spirit and a cosmic awareness. In the intuitive response, in that mode of awareness you achieved earlier, you have not only the ability to just objectively witness, but you can also ask questions. In the intuitive response, the message you put out, or the question you ask through that higher channel of communication will manifest itself as an answer. The answer will not always be what you want it to be, you have to be open and accepting to whatever the answer actually IS; how it presents itself. This answer is not as easy as direct cause and effect. It processes itself through many filters.

Chopra's explanation really puts more confidence in my ability to affect a positive difference in this world, not only through what I do, but also even just through prayer to help others, and meditation. Although that doesn't mean I give up on everything I DO, and will now just focus my life on prayer! No thanks! I would rather do as much as I think, if not more, and analyze less!

Chopra explains the next response as the creative response, stating that as a result of asking your question and stating your intention, that you will be able to create. The ability to create something that was not there before is a purely human attribute, as it was given to us by the Creator because we are created in the image of the Creator, and as such, we have the ability to create, and understand how to build things.

The last response Chopra discusses is the Sacred Response, and this response entails the ability to wonder, and to ask where all this creation is coming from. To seek to know the source of the creativity. The actual source of creation is beyond all interpretation. But the interpretation of the cosmic being(s) changes based on the time we live in. We at least need to realize that there is some sort of cosmic Being, or cosmic Force, and we are expressions of, and contained inside that Being. We are all parts of this "scheme of things". The human mind, which seeks to understand the Creator Mind, is a part of the cosmic mind, and in that way it is possible for human minds to connect.

The more you can understand your own mind you start to eavesdrop on the nature of that cosmic mind. The more you ask questions, the more you understand, the more you create, and the stronger your "Sacred Response" becomes as well.

Bear

Nicknames are wonderful things. They can be used to describe people, in good or bad ways. they can be given to demean, as "pet names", or to bolster a person, and make them feel like they belong to a group.

My best friends and I are always calling each other nicknames. We have standard nicknames for each other, but sometimes we veer off from those. I have also looked on Helium, a writer's "forum" that I belong to, and found an article there titled Why People Choose Nicknames For Themselves. It was funny that she mentions people usually choose names that fit the named "to a T", and I had just written that myself.

One woman I know has a very easily pronounceable, albeit longer name. Her self-ascribed nickname is short, simple, sweet, but out of character for her, as far as I would understand, but she likes it, and it sticks! I works so well for her, and I wouldn't call her any other name. People don't even know her by her real name.

There is a person who I do not have "the right" to name, and I do not know that if I ever did give that name, that it would stick. I do not even really want to give that person that name until they "deserve" it. That is one thing about nicknaming ... the "recipient" needs to deserve the name. It's funny then, that the people I named Bulldog, Penny, Sparrow, Little John (Robin Hood character ... as in this guy was huge, but why he reminded me of Little John, I am not sure!) I have only known for one day, but they still deserved the name, and some people you have a name lined up for, but they just never "deserve" to be called by that name.

"Your name is important", this author says. It describes who you are, and what other people think of you. It also means to the person giving you the name that you mean something to them. Like my nickname for my sister, who finally allowed me to give her some kind of nickname. Now, the name has "stuck" for years, if not a decade. It has now also become a bit of a term of endearment that I use for others, but it is only the "Name" for one person; my sister.

So why have I chosen the name Bear? Well, in the middle of my affections, (which only lasted about a month, before that it was only a passing friendliness) I thought it described the proportions, and that was not a bad thing. In fact, that was a charming thing, I thought! I loved this person's stature and presence. In fact, they have proof in ink to support their nickname, which I found out after I had thought of the nickname, but seeing as I have NEVER called them that, there is no proof of this fact. So it is a perfect nickname for the person, but I still think they need to deserve it.

Nicknames can also be used to ascribe characteristics that are not inherently human, to people. "Honey", "muffin", and all those cutesy names "Popples", "Karebear", as well. Names can be short forms of actual names: "Vanny", "Nessa", "Ria" for example, of can be only between two people (like I used to call a friend way long time ago (in a galaxy far away) when we were both into Star Wars, and she had her own fan fiction site that she maintained, I called her "Master", and she called me "Padawan". Crazy names; we were young and dorky, but they were amazing good times!

So why Bear? It has nothing to do with shortening the name, but
the Panda Bear would be part of the reason, just as a cute animal, and the Grizzly Bear. Hmmm, interesting to think about. I will keep this info in my back pocket, ans let you know if the name is ever used. Never being able to use it would be a shame, and a waste of potential friendship, indeed.

Penny and Bulldog

Wow, what a day! Today was amazing! There are a couple of highlights to my day personally, and also technical highlights to my day as well. The day of drywall mudding in the trusses has been unrivaled until today – today was its equal!

There was a time where I would say that whatever day was THE BEST DAY EVER!! I think I have been around too long now to get quite that excited about any one day anymore, but this was an amazing day. One reason that it rivaled that drywall mudding day was in terms of the intense spirit and positive energy of my crew, enough to get me “nicknaming” a lot of the people there; that gives people a heightened sense of belonging. I have noticed this through mostly construction experience though, and different of the guys in charge will give out nicknames, it doesn’t mean someone is a “favourite”, but often people respond well to those names, especially if they are given and received respectfully, and in good humour. For example, one of the guys today was Bulldog, from Fraser, to a T! Bloody absolutely PERFECT match, right down to the pitch and gruffness/gravel in his voice. So I mentioned that to him about halfway through the morning, and he thought that was pretty cool, and ran with it! One of the women in my crew informed me later that the name I picked was a good one, because this guy had a tattoo of a bulldog on the back of one of his shoulders! LOL, that worked! If that guy is ever onsite again, he is Bulldog, hands-down!

Another name I ran with was this guy who had “Penny” on a sticker above his name for the day, and when I met my crew in the morning I couldn’t read his actual name, but I could read “Penny” very clearly. So I looked at this guy and said “Penny?!?” The whole crew laughed, and so did he. But that name kind of stuck, although I did not push anyone’s nicknames too far. I called everyone by their real names, but also kept the nicknames going throughout the day. It’s hard enough to keep everyone excited, let alone remember 13+ names throughout the day, so you have to have jokes in your back pocket for when you inevitable mess up people’s names! He was also a good worker, he learned how to use the skill saw, and was someone I could depend on to get the job done. Some people will do that; they will allow themselves to take on a job early in the day, and then you can depend on them throughout the day to do their job and contribute their new skill to the work of the project. It also gave this guy his own way to belong to the group.

Another thing I did today was something I “re-learned” after last Saturday; break people up into small groups, and assign them projects, then instead of having to find work for, or follow up on, 13 different people, you only have to find work for/follow up on about 3 or 4 groups. That is a lot easier.

Sometimes I have to give people away. It is NOTHING personal usually. I had to do that with several people today, as my “boss” – as she had adopted the role of – needed people. One not so good thing about today though, is that there were too many people there, and I did not have the opportunity to train one of the people who, as Alison noted, was one of the quiet ones, who may have the most gumption. Hw was always hanging back, and acting like “it’s okay, I’ll just wait”, well then, he was just waiting all day. I felt bad because I didn’t have time to show him anything, so he always got the leftovers. He didn’t step up all day long to be the squeaky hinge, and get in on any of the building groups I had going. But he did get to work with a lot of different groups onsite, and do many different things. Maybe next time. Let’s see how much he puts out if someone takes the time to show him what to do, and recognizes and encourages him.

Women’s Build Aspirations

I still maintain that this Women’s Build will be an absolutely amazing experience. Yes, we may not get an amazing amount done, but I have still met with several women who have already given me enough hope for my own goals that I am very interested in, and extremely excited about what people I will meet during this Build! In fact it’s “not only the destination, but the journey” that counts, and even if the Build is just stressful for me, the journey towards the Build has so far been well worth it!

I am developing a camaraderie with different of these women who will be participating in this build that I have had with other of the guys onsite, but what makes it even cooler is that we can connect on a higher level than just construction – we all share “being female” in common. It’s the kind of joking around with “the guys” that you get in these such boys clubs, that sometimes, if you fit in well enough with them, they will let you in on, but if they don’t let you in on it, you are SOL. But working with these women, there is no "boy's clubs"; in fact there are actually "girl's clubs" starting, where the girls who share renovation or construction in common are bonding together over the experience of being involved in residential construction from the ground up. We can do it just as well as "the boys" can, and we are bonding, and having a blast! It's amazing!

Once again, Habitat is one place where I can be myself and be accepted for being EXACTLY who I am on a daily basis, and not only that, but also be EXPECTED to be a leader, and be pushed to my full potential, and joke around and have fun doing it!

I met this woman today who will be a House Leader at the Women’s Build, and oh yes, is she ever cut out for it! A carpenter, and then I am assuming, a project manager in B.C., she doesn’t seem to take much BS. She is all I needed to keep me on track, and keep me doing what I am supposed to be doing. I really enjoyed working with her. She seemed to adopt me. It also seemed that she’s one tough cookie. When she was an apprentice, there would have been probably only one “her” in the entire program, and she would be the one!

First thing in the morning it was like a car driving along the side of a metal wall, screeching, paint-stripping friction, with me wondering what would be worse. But I think that even though there were a couple of instances where we collided the wrong way, but were BOTH determined to work together with each other, and respect and understand each other, and that determination had us working together really well by the end of the day. It was bloody gorgeous! Whenever I would go to teach someone something, she let me do that, but whenever I would go to “do work” – and she seemed to know the difference – it would be “what are you doing?! You have a day job; here you have labour; get THEM to do the work! You lead! You supervise, don’t work!” Holy crap! It was amazing! It was like she was on my back, but that’s the kind of yelling I respond to beautifully, there are no demeaning or derogatory elements to her commands, but she does issue commands. I am trained well enough that all I need is a little kick in the butt when I am veering off in the wrong direction, and she was kicking me, so I corrected. Another amazing thing was that I could share construction humour with her, and she actually got it … it took some prompting on one of the jokes … and she could share joking back with me. It was so cool to be able to do that with someone.

See, this woman that I met today, along with other women in Habitat, like Jenny, are pretty amazing to me, because they are proof that there are “tough chicks” out there, who have no problem at all with being that way, because it gets things done. And they have found their way to construction because of one of the exact reasons I am drawn to construction; it is an area that operates on the gears of respect, and being tough, and so you can BE yourself, and BE tough. It’s almost too good to be true, but yet these women are living proof that it is in fact possible.

Here’s Jenny saying a while ago that she gets these nicknames, and this reputation as a “nagger” @ Head Office, but does she give a f…damn? NO! And I think that’s bloody amazing! She gets the job done. She is a tough and confident woman, and other people are not used to that, and so they resist, and possibly try to send jibes her way, to cut her down, but these women are able to not let it phase them, and keep on going. THAT is exactly how I yearn to be. I would love to have the confidence, and the unshakable goals to be able to be like Jenny. I could follow some of these women around onsite just in awe of how they conduct themselves. (Although if I actually DID that, it might get to their heads, and I don’t want to inflate anyone’s egos here ;-P ) Although I would not be ashamed to say that I would be very willing to respect these different women, because I KNOW how they are acting, and I know some of the crap they went through that toughened them up. I hope I can come out of my own challenges as successfully as they have.

Speaking earlier of camaraderie, I am now comfortable enough with some of the women onsite, that I have started to bug them and joke around with them, like I joke around with Roger and Brian. It was gorgeous! I kept on bugging Jenny, and goin’ at her today, makin’ her lose her train of thought, just doing all the kinds of “being a brat” that Roger can do, but doing it in a way that it was received as fun, and joking. THOSE are the kinds of things that bond you. Is being able to goof off with someone else, and know that they can goof off with you right back.

There are other women there (Barb from Head Office, Kerry, and Kris) who are younger (30s I’d guess) who are not quite as tough as Jenny, but you know they are also confident women. This is the kind of thing that a young (male) apprentice would feel, if they felt that kind of stuff! Kind of like a warm, fuzzy feeling; a hope that they can achieve what these other guys they work for and learn from have achieved, and that they have the ultimate respect for these guys. I actually talked to one of Will’s students today, and I think he feels that way about Will.

Tricks of the Trades

Don’t get me wrong. I have just written about the women from the trades that I have met (mostly through Habitat, although there are others) but there are guys I genuinely respect onsite too. Some of them, like Mike and Carlos, are continuing to adopt me. I have known of them for a while, but because I was not as “dedicated” to Habitat before … as in, I hadn’t yet based my CAREER direction on it … I had no reason to connect with them. Now I have found a couple of things, one being they respect me as an apprentice, and another thing; they can discipline me for not getting something right. They know how to do that respectfully. There are lots of other guys there that I respect, and enjoy learning from. I can take being yelled at, really I can. Being told I am worthless and essentially useless, no. That shows a lack of any class. But these guys don’t do that. Mike, Carlos, MikeBlake, Roger, Brian, Will, Dave, to name a few off the top of my head, are all pretty good guys to work for, to work with, and to learn from.

Speaking of learning, it’s time I moved on to the technical achievements of my day. I noticed that I worked with Carlos EXACTLY the way an apprentice works for a foreman, and the fact that he treats me in that way is pretty cool. I recognize how he is treating me, and how he is expecting me to behave, and I understand that he doesn’t do that kind of thing for “just anyone”. He is investing teaching in me, which is something that I am very receptive to. I am here, at Habitat, more importantly than anything else, to LEARN. I need to learn like I need air. I need to be given the opportunity to learn. I need to be given the responsibility to do things, a chance to f…mess up, and then to be told that I messed up, and helped to see what I can do better next time. That is one of the reasons why I appreciate Brian’s sites, and respect him so much; because he attracts teachers, and he believes in making Habitat a learning experience. I have learned not to take that for granted, because not everyone operates that way. I am grateful for all these opportunities, and I do not want to do anything that would jeopardize them. I understand how lucky I am to be able to participate in this kind of environment, and I love it! I am like a sponge, and it’s finally paying off! I am actually understanding how to do these things, and I am now more able to Crew Lead these projects on my own, although not without still messing up.

Today, Carlos was not so happy with a mistake I made … and I sort of made it twice. I was not on my Crew to remember a very important element of installing the joists, which was to make sure the double joists were flush … and again later with the braces. That was not my project, but Michael was (apparently!) my Crew Member, so when the braces were not flush with the top of the joists, it was my responsibility. Damn. So out came three or four small joists, and the joist hangers had to come out, etc. And watching someone like Carlos just take a skillsaw to your work is kind of shocking. I was a bit confused there, like WTF is going on here?! What did I do wrong? I didn’t understand at first. but the thing is, I COMPLETELY respected the way Carlos did that, because at no point in time did he demean ME, he just chastised the mistake I made, and told me to pay more attention next time, and not mess it up, because that was a bit of work that had to be redone. The thing is, a year ago that may have had me in tears. Today, I have been toughened up by several experiences like that, I don’t take it personally anymore. That is just a construction guy whacking an apprentice over the head and saying “You dork! Now, pay attention, and get it RIGHT the next time!” So this experience was a good one, because I learned here, and I kept all my dignity intact.

However, after that happened, I was kind of shocked, and just stood there for a while. After wanting to go off in a corner and whimper, something in my brain kicked in – Probably Susan or Jenny’s voice in the back of my head! – and said, “Come on girl, you’ve got a Crew to lead, and a mess to fix up – don’t just stand there, you know what you did wrong and what you have to do to fix it, now mobilize the forces and get back to work!” And so I did. Some switch in my brain flipped, and I came to life. People were standing around just staring, almost open-mouthed, at what had just happened, and that was no good. So I gave each of them a piece of wood, and told them to take the nails out. I told Bulldog to make sure he got the double joists flush, and “Penny” and one of the other guys to start cutting the new pieces we needed. I couldn’t believe it! I refused to be upset at messing up, and I went back at it, and look at what happened because of it – I remained my team’s leader, and I gained confidence. THAT was one of the times where the little voice inside of my head, after I had picked up the pieces and fixed things, said “atta girl, good stuff, you deserve a pat on the back.” And believe me, 90% of the time I am Waaay too hard on myself, and even after I have earned a pat on the back I still will not give myself one, but after today’s personal success I really did deserve that. That is a victory, and victory is sweeeet! The last thing that happened today was one of the best things. I shook hands with most of my Crew Members, and was going to just shake Alana's hand, and she just came forward and gave me a big hug! I felt like a million bucks! I felt so good! That was another way for someone to say that I have really made a difference. What a bloody tearjerker. Amazing. Yeah, I don't get paid money to work for Habitat, but that is one of the reasons that makes coming there completely worthwhile.

So for next week, I learned that (keep previous weeks in mind too) you need to watch out for keeping things flush.
* You need to watch every member of not only your original crew, but everyone under you, or working in your area. If you see anything that is wrong, don’t be afraid to tell them to take it out and start over again. Also, I was a bit tough on the guys for the braces, (but still not as tough as Carlos!) but I could be a little softer, maybe … as in, “it’s a mistake guys, it’s okay. It’s not a bad thing. You still are doing a good job, but you have to take out the pieces, and start again.” THEN I can go on with the, “okay, don’t just sit there, take out your mistakes!” kind of stuff! Enh! They’re big boys; they can handle bein’ talked to tough!
* Keep your crew divided into smaller bits.
* Understand the things you have to be aware of in completing your project correctly BEFORE you start.
* Don’t freeze because you messed up, keep moving!

There are other things … but I will need to remember them later. I think I am just about “brained-out” in terms of writing right now!