Analyse That!

I think I remember seeing an article or two in a Business Week or WIRED magazine somewhere about Anger Management. Too bad I didn't stop to read them thoroughly. Those kind of articles also tend to discuss anger management around the workplace, and how happy many people are with their bosses. There's also a funky website where you get to rate your boss, and other elements of your workplace, and you get these little icons that show you your average facial expression, from "yeah!", to "meh!", to "blecky-yucky!" I wish I could remember the URL! NEway, the point is that there are many cases in Canada where people are OK where they are working, but something is making them stuck in whatever position or situation even though they are angry. For me personally, I sometimes feel intimidated there. Sometimes I feel as though it's some sort of fraternity where I am the only honest worker (and cleaning lady). Now, I know that's not a blanket statement; there are a couple good guys and women there, but sometimes the slackers and fluffbrains piss me off.

There is a magazine article that I DID read in a women's health magazine, that, although not the same business oriented viewpoint on the topic, is still worth noting. The specific article; Go Ahead, Get Mad was written by Dorothy Foltz-Gray, who is a freelancer who writes primarily about health issues. Some links in that google search (click on her name) bring up other articles that look at anger tendancies and ways to manage our anger. It was also interesting to find out that those who suppress their anger seem to suffer the same kind of affects, and from the same health conditions, as those who express it in engraged outbursts. Okay, that can be me on both sides of the coin. So, back to Foltz-Gray, who looks at women specifically, she addresses those of us who are spitfires, and those who would rather flight then fight, and ways of expressing that anger in a productive manner.

"Aiding us in all this subterfuge is confusion about anger itself. "Many women think anger is a bad thing, and if they are angry, something is wrong with them," says psychiatrist Jean Baker Miller, MD, director of the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at the Stone Center in Wellesley, MA, where she researches women and anger. "But anger is an emotional reaction indicating that something is wrong and that something needs to be done." " Good point. The "wrong" isn't to go hand-in-hand with blame. Not your boss, and especially not you. Do not internalize that anger, like so many women tend to do so they do not need to deal with the situation. That makes you what she calls and internalizer. Possible become more of an objectifier.

Put the situation out where you, and everyone, can see it: into words. Objectify it like a picture you study in art class, or a bottle of Sprite. Suggest a general solution involving everyone, what you can contribute to it, and what they can contribute to the situation as well. Let them know that you have been disrespected, and that you have a right to be respected. Make sure you also treat others with respect. Sometimes, you may have to deal with someone else who has a temper at work, but you need to remember that they are not in control of your actions. Also, if you are able to learn how to control AND EXPRESS your anger productively, AND maintain your respect and morals at work, then you have every right if the situation gets out of hand to go to higher levels to get the respect you deserve. EVERYONE, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, DESERVES RESPECT. We have all gotten angry, and some of us have a temper that we've used sometimes, so that is reason to give people some room for human error and anger expression of their own, but everyone has an equal right to demand AND RECEIVE respect.

On a last note, back to staying stuck, if you find that you are staying stuck in an "abusive" situation at work, and you have tried everything that you possibly know, including googling stuff like "getting out of abusive work situations", or phoning the police or a help line, (they won't arrest you or anyone else just for phoning them to ask for advice and help) then leave that situation. You are in control of your own destiny, and can find a better one!

NEway, cheers, and remember, read these articles and google stuff, and get out there to express your anger productively! :D

Curves

I go to a now family, used-to-be women's gym. The addition of men was disappointing. But that's not what I'm here for. Right now, I want to discuss health. Health is not just something you are, or have, but something you need to work for, and maintain your entire life. It's an attitude, a state of mind, and a life-long goal. I am blessed to be surrounded by an abundance of people who "practice" health. My Mother, for one, has gone to the gym for years now. She has always had weights and a rowing machine in the house; every house we ever lived in. I remember using that rowing machine since I was little. She used to take my sister and I out on walks every day, little did I know then, that we were walking to the University I would one day attend, and then back home. Every day ... 6:30am-ish, with a banana before-hand and a bowl of porridge afterwards. And we are a healthy family in terms of eating habits. More carrots and zuchini and pasta (Atkins be damned) through the years than burgers, that's for sure! And sports; baseball, sports camp for years, girls' hockey for at least 1/2 a decade, skating, skiing, walking, now gym memberships ... sigh. The adventure is on-going, and supplemented by extensive reading and healthy recipes.

There are also those I know who have quit things or changed the way they are to regain health. I know - and commend - several young women, peers, actually, who have had the strength to quit smoking, either on their own, or through the support of their peers, and one extremely beautiful woman who has lost significant weight through changing her eating patterns, joining weight watchers and Curves, going to her doctor and a nutritionist, etc. This woman is incredible. I love the way she has learned to love herself.

There is one thing, however, that continues to bother me. The affects of smaller things, like picking your lips, biting your nails, picking at cuticles, etc. These, albeit bad habits in and of themselves, are possibly signs of health that are less examined in this society, where physical health is being emphasized. In most cases, this is wonderful! In some cases, could it be more a sign of work better, achieve moremoremore, than an active approach of treat your body with love and respect, for it is the vessel that carries your soul? I don't know. My Mother, I would say, has learned to love her body, and learn to listen to it, but she had a horrible problem with her nails when she was younger. With my sister, it was biting her nails for a decade; me, my cuticles. Nervousness? Anxiety? Lack of confidence?

How does one lose the weight of such problems, and regain their outlook on a healthy life?

McLuhan?

I thought Massive Change was cool. Until I started talking to my Dad about it afterwards. We discussed our opinions on such public displays and their idealist mis-information on the future, and how no-one's opinion seemed to actually have been changed towards technology based on the "clear-box" votes on such issues as genetic engineering afterwards.

Now I am leery of the McLuhan Festival. Will it actually affect change, or impart realistic information? I don't know. Are there any days that will really be worthwhile attending? I don't know. Personally, I am a tad disappointed about all this trend and hype to do with "all things design" at the moment.

I might be interested in "Home Day" and "School Day". But where is Religion Day? Senior's Day? (Dis)Abilities Day? The event has been created to look at technology and culture. McLuhan was all about the relationship between media and society.

But I'm more sure that relationship is what it's supposed to be. The media, technology, (pop) culture, and society are sorely lacking today in the in-depth connections and relations that things such as spirituality, a lack of greed, and a genuine desire to help humans across the board - not just the trendy humans - promotes. If I go, I beleive it will be with a skeptic's ear. I am waiting to hear what I want to hear; a certain willingness to reach out and help other humans, not just what others may want to hear; "look at what we can do to design the world with our cool new gadgets! Aren't we so cool! We will save the world with our stuff!"

Productivity of a Day of Prayer

Oh yes, Bush. Proclaim a day of prayer on September 16th, as you are now the Pope, and God besides. This will definitely touch every one of the lives of those affected by the flood. It may bring some bloated bodies back to life, and reform the structural integrity of the buildings there. Is it true that the citizen's prayers were not answered by you while you were on vacation? Is it true that the FBI went in earlier on to rescue genetics research from one of the universities there, and they did nothing to rescue the people? Is it true that your inactions towards these citizens could be the snowflake that starts the avalanche of the next civil war?,

I have nothing against prayer. On September 16th, I will say one; that the ones who have not cared for others during their lifetime are judged with justice in the next, or even in this one. That those who have died because of your inactions did not endure much pain, that those who continue to survive find that there are people God has blessed in America, with the abilities that you do not have; to care about their fellow human beings.