Sex Crime
One thing I am struggling with right now is the issue of relationships in relation to human sexuality, and how "romantic" or sexual relationships are defined. I was first introduced to Orwell's version of "sex crime" in a political science course I am taking. Through the essay I am writing, and a few "intellects" at my work place, I have encountered many different views on sexuality and relationships worldwide, and in Toronto.
Orwell's version of sex crime is extreme, but where should the line be drawn? For example, the "sex game" in Toronto. Do you date, are you a player, are you interested in serious "expensive" relationships, etc etc. For me, at least at the moment, I am REALLY questioning sexual experimentation. So many young people are doing it these days. One person I know had a frightening description: "Men have these urges". They need to be taken care of. That's why he said he was breaking up with his girlfriend. He wanted to try other sexual partners. She was willing to allow him to do so, on the basis that they would be able to remain in a relationship. He wanted to break the relationship off, because he did not want commitment. He wanted to experiment. This just seems wrong. He said he would mature out of it. What, one day he wakes up ready to be committed for life? I don't think so. I think relationship building and commitment is based on habits and choices that take a lifetime to build, they don't instantly occur becuase of hormonal changes in your body once you're 30. He's basing this on male sexual peak at 18. Ok, so the female sexual peak is supposedly at 30. Then we will have these urges, and we will want to play around, and when that guy is willing to be committed, he'll have to get a woman who is at least 42 in order to ensure she doesn't cheat on him. Or does he not think it should be able to go the other way around? Does he think that when a man no longer has these urges and is willing to settle down, the woman will automatically follow suit? It doesn't work that way. If you use others, you can't expect to get away with it, and never have others use you.
On another note, with all this "girl power" stuff, many young women are getting the wrong impression about it, thinking that they can also become engaged in what the boys are doing, because if the boys can do it, they should be able to, too. (See the aforementioned about relationship building and maturity. That goes both ways. That's the equality.)
No! That's not what equality is about! It's not about, "He's a slut, so I can be one too! Yeaaah, now we're all equal!"
No
No
No. The media, being a "slave" so to speak, of what "the people want", or feeding "the people" these attitudes. Either way, it's backwards. It's wrong. But there are people, and I have just encountered one of them, who believe it.
Young people are getting these ideas from somewhere. They are twisting truth to fit the Golden Calf. My current conclusion is that education and opinion can help to change these attitudes, but in a society where economy and business has more power than government or any moral institutions, how will this happen?
1 comment:
Young women aren't getting those urges because of girl power, or because men are being promiscuous. Those urges come from biology. Men and women are made to procreate. Go forth and multiply and all that. The urges are natural -- doing something about it is also natural. Doing something about it in context of the social and cultural values we live with brings labels -- and make doing something about it unnatural. Sometime ago, doing something about it was reserved for men only. Women were not allowed to have those urges, let alone do something about it. Today that is different. Something can be done about it. Some labels linger however. The choice between a relationship and promiscuity is a social one. It's not a matter of it being a sex crime. Different people have different social values. That doesn't make them better or worse. It just makes them people, with choices. Some people need promiscuity. Some don't. It all comes down to biology -- without getting into too many details.
The equation that was once just complex alone with the social and cultural values, has become more complex in recent times with the addition of the health variable. While health concerns have always been there, mortality was never attached to it with the degree that it has today. The choice of promiscuity is no longer one that can be weighted with social and cultural values alone. Health now plays a big part. Promiscuity increases your chances of dying. That simple. Having a relationship with someone who's promiscuous increases the risks of dying. A lot of us in the industrialized nations may dismiss that outright -- but how many of us know someone with AIDS? How many of us have lost someone to AIDS? These days promiscuity can kill.
Experimenting. For those who want to experiment beyond playing "doctor" as a young person, I'd question the maturity. Sex for the human species isn't just about biology anymore. It's not about procreating and continuing of the species. If it was, we could get rid of the entire messy business, sterilize the genetically inferior and breed the best. Fortunately, sex is much more an emotional act than it is a physical. Add to the equation, the big fudge factor of love -- without that fudge factor, the equation would never balance, there would be no making love, no babies and no human species. Experiment? Sticking something in somewhere doesn't come close to the grand experiment of love. There's nothing so complex, so full of joy, pain and pleasure, as love. Experiment as you refer to here is child's play compared to love. It's easy to stick something in somewhere. When you come right down to it, there isn't much to sex. It's easy. That's why so many morons are doing it. The experiment of love though ... it's not for the faint of heart, not for the weak, not for the timid. You got to be brave and strong to try that stuff.
Experimenting sexually without love is for the chicken-shits. Add some love and let's see how long they last.
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