Analyse That!

I think I remember seeing an article or two in a Business Week or WIRED magazine somewhere about Anger Management. Too bad I didn't stop to read them thoroughly. Those kind of articles also tend to discuss anger management around the workplace, and how happy many people are with their bosses. There's also a funky website where you get to rate your boss, and other elements of your workplace, and you get these little icons that show you your average facial expression, from "yeah!", to "meh!", to "blecky-yucky!" I wish I could remember the URL! NEway, the point is that there are many cases in Canada where people are OK where they are working, but something is making them stuck in whatever position or situation even though they are angry. For me personally, I sometimes feel intimidated there. Sometimes I feel as though it's some sort of fraternity where I am the only honest worker (and cleaning lady). Now, I know that's not a blanket statement; there are a couple good guys and women there, but sometimes the slackers and fluffbrains piss me off.

There is a magazine article that I DID read in a women's health magazine, that, although not the same business oriented viewpoint on the topic, is still worth noting. The specific article; Go Ahead, Get Mad was written by Dorothy Foltz-Gray, who is a freelancer who writes primarily about health issues. Some links in that google search (click on her name) bring up other articles that look at anger tendancies and ways to manage our anger. It was also interesting to find out that those who suppress their anger seem to suffer the same kind of affects, and from the same health conditions, as those who express it in engraged outbursts. Okay, that can be me on both sides of the coin. So, back to Foltz-Gray, who looks at women specifically, she addresses those of us who are spitfires, and those who would rather flight then fight, and ways of expressing that anger in a productive manner.

"Aiding us in all this subterfuge is confusion about anger itself. "Many women think anger is a bad thing, and if they are angry, something is wrong with them," says psychiatrist Jean Baker Miller, MD, director of the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at the Stone Center in Wellesley, MA, where she researches women and anger. "But anger is an emotional reaction indicating that something is wrong and that something needs to be done." " Good point. The "wrong" isn't to go hand-in-hand with blame. Not your boss, and especially not you. Do not internalize that anger, like so many women tend to do so they do not need to deal with the situation. That makes you what she calls and internalizer. Possible become more of an objectifier.

Put the situation out where you, and everyone, can see it: into words. Objectify it like a picture you study in art class, or a bottle of Sprite. Suggest a general solution involving everyone, what you can contribute to it, and what they can contribute to the situation as well. Let them know that you have been disrespected, and that you have a right to be respected. Make sure you also treat others with respect. Sometimes, you may have to deal with someone else who has a temper at work, but you need to remember that they are not in control of your actions. Also, if you are able to learn how to control AND EXPRESS your anger productively, AND maintain your respect and morals at work, then you have every right if the situation gets out of hand to go to higher levels to get the respect you deserve. EVERYONE, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, DESERVES RESPECT. We have all gotten angry, and some of us have a temper that we've used sometimes, so that is reason to give people some room for human error and anger expression of their own, but everyone has an equal right to demand AND RECEIVE respect.

On a last note, back to staying stuck, if you find that you are staying stuck in an "abusive" situation at work, and you have tried everything that you possibly know, including googling stuff like "getting out of abusive work situations", or phoning the police or a help line, (they won't arrest you or anyone else just for phoning them to ask for advice and help) then leave that situation. You are in control of your own destiny, and can find a better one!

NEway, cheers, and remember, read these articles and google stuff, and get out there to express your anger productively! :D