First Saturday @ WRP

I think I am running out of firsts at WRP ... ummm, on second thought, I can think of a LOT of firsts I wouldn't mind happening there!

But for now, the was the first York University Day at WRP, but not the first York Day at Habitat. In fact, one of my first days as a Crew Leader, at 4200 Kingston Rd., was with York University students and alumni. I think I preferred the spirit of that group over the group this past Saturday, but then again, this group was also pretty amazing!

My Crew today consisted of about 7 women. Our job was to put up sill plates on Block A. I felt a bit like a brand new, never held a hammer before kid at some points during the day, because one guy loves to tell me that what I am doing is wrong, and say "why don't you do it this way; it's so much easier?" At every turn. Who's f*g crew is it? Mine, or yours? Sometimes his lack of ability to think through what he says has dumbfounded more than just me, and even the Site Super was at least able to recognize this guy's behaviour. The fact that he made a comment to that effect did not help me to necessarily look any better in front of my Crew today, but it helped me to definitely FEEL better. Even just to know that I DID actually know what I was talking about, and how to fix the problem, and that he was the boss, and not this tactless so-and-so. No, I didn't need to re-snap the chalkline, and stop being so anal about it. I am quite capable of, as Brian said, "eye" it, to make the minor adjustments needed. But I have worked around this guy for three years, and I know that he has people telling him that he does stuff wrong different times, and he seems to rail against being told that is not the way it will be done like his LIFE depends on it. Nor does he trust me with a skillsaw, or think I can teach others to use a chopsaw, etc etc. I had to ham it up with my girls just so that they would still listen to me.

Arrgh! I hope he is NOT there next Saturday, or at least that I do not work around him! I would like to work more with Mike O. and Carlos, though. Those guys are pretty amazing. I can at least defer to them when I don't know how to do something, and not be made to feel like sh*t, or have my task whipped from under my feet, and my Crew think I can't do my job or don't know what is going on.

Anyway. I actually DID manage to teach these women how to put down sill plates. You know what? I didn't go as fast as the fastest Crew, but there were a couple of young women there who are very interested in building, and want to return to the site. Some of the others were just "girly". Some of them took the opportunity to learn to use a chopsaw, use a drill and a spade bit, put down sill gasket and Tyvek, swing a hammer, and even toenail in Rimboard.

And one of the guys there recognized my "craft". My What? What, as in the way I swung a hammer? You can tell I am a budding carpenter, can you now?! LOL! Listen, whereas I will demand the respect that I give to others (to whatever degree I give it!) I also know that, as C+ says, I am at "the bottom of the pile". I know nowhere close to what Will or Carlos or Mike O. knows, I have nowhere near that level of confidence. Please do not try that kind of comment. I would tend to take it as sarcasm, or buttering me up to see how I react to that kind of B.S. I know I can hammer in a nail, and teach others to toenail, but don't assume I am a hammer "craftsperson"! B.S!

Well, there are some things I missed from today, but I also had quite a lot of fun, and learned some new things, as always, in the process.

Gratitude

My sister is grateful, every day this Lent. For example, every morning, when she wakes up (to HER alarm, usually an hour after she is woken up by my alarm, and spends that hour cursing me ... sigh ...) she is grateful that she has functioning hearing to hear her alarm, and functioning sight to see her alarm. She is grateful that she lives in Canada, and has a job. She is grateful for freedom to choose what to do with her future, and I am sure she is grateful for her family, too.

I have spent the last few days fairly depressed, stressed, and doubtful, but there have been daily things for me to be grateful about, too. Maybe her idea is pretty good. So, yesterday I saw a cardinal, right there in front of me on a branch above the sidewalk. I am very grateful for that. He was beautiful! I am also grateful for spending the day with my Mother on Thursday.

I do not know that I am grateful for not having a job, but I am sure I could spin it that way for now, too, if I worked at it. I am grateful, at least, that I live at home, and my family is willing to help me out when I need it, but also that I have enough money for now from my savings that I can keep going on my own steam. So I am grateful that I am not a big spender at the best of times, so that in the not-so-good times I am still at least okay for cash.

First Fortnight @ WRP

Well, it's now been two weeks that I have been working at the WRP site (known as Hainford, but I still call it WRP, because the "Women's Religious Project - the land for that entire site is owned by nuns - is what it started off as being called). Brian, Bethany, Caroline, Roger, David, and a few volunteers have been helping to renovate Brian's "office", not to mention Raymond (electrician). It now has trim, and new floor, the wall and door are back in, and it's all wired up and ready to go!

By now, all of the units on the west side, and most of the units on the east side have the foundation walls poured, and as of Friday this week, we were putting the sill plates on "Block E". The units are divided into 8 blocks; two units (left and right) each. Blocks A-D are on the west side, and Blocks E-H are on the east side. The west side blocks will be the women's build homes. Actually, at 100 women per day, we could easily work on all the homes ... that might actually be what is going on.

I have been working on building form footings, striping the forms back off the footings, and once again, shucking around hay and clay. This past week I have led groups of individuals; people who are on March Break, for the most part, but also some women. On this site, I assume that most women are either home owners, or training for the Women's Build Blitz (henceforth to be known on my blog as WB, or WBB!). Although I should not necessarily make that assumption. I have seen several new faces though, and most of them have been pretty cool.

First Day @ WRP

I just started today on WRP - it's at Lawrence and Manse Road. I spent a good solid six hours taking nails out of wood, stripping the footing forms, getting rained on, and helping an with the excavation process. There are lots of things to do at Habitat right now if you are one of Habitat's "Dedicated Volunteers". I have started to read the blueprints for the site, but at 15 minutes at a time, really thoroughly digesting these blueprints will take me a little while!

There will be 8 blocks of two units each, divided into left and right. They will have two floors each and a basement. They will be constructed using SIPs (external), stick framing (internal), 2x8s (and are there any 2x10s?) as floor joists, and 5/8" T&G sub-flooring, and a mix of wood and steel beams and lintels. And that's about all I retained from the drawings today.

Two years ago; January 2007, I started volunteering at 4200. I didn't even know what a blueprint was. Today, Will was congratulating me on becoming part of the Union - something he just found out today. I can read residential blueprints, and am learning to hold my ground in reading commercial blueprints as well. None of these things are required by Habitat, but they are things that Habitat has influenced me to do with my life. I have come so far since the beginning of 4200. I hope to keep moving forward!

Some days I wonder if anything will ever piece together and I will ever figure out what I want to do and how I will do it, but on days like today those goals seem a little more attainable. I have options I can pursue, and opportunities in my future. there are a couple of things I need to get there: hardwork, smartwork, a positive attitude, self-confidence, and dogged determination ... not to mention faith and prayer. And THAT'S just in hot pursuit of the career I want!

Eons Since Habitat

Wow.
September 15th, 2007. That is the last regular comment post on Habitat that I can see that I have written on my blog. That was 2.5 months into my position as Hardware Supervisor at CTCR store #654. June 27th, 2008 was my last day on that job. I have also enrolled in AND FINISHED a carpentry pre-apprenticeship course, and am now 800+ hours into my apprenticeship with Local 27; Carpenter's Union.

Since my last post, I have continued to volunteer with Habitat on a fairly regular basis, contributing about 36 days in 2008 (that averages to one day every week or every two weeks, spread out over the year). My time at Habitat is sometimes sporadic; based on what else is going on in my life, sometimes 8 days a month, sometimes 2 months without. I do what I can, when I can.

I have also experienced my first clashes with Habitat in a few ways since I last wrote, but I also think they are starting to work themselves through, if not out.

Brian (one of the site supers) is now a Proud Pappa - as of September 2nd, 2008, the VERY DAY I finished crocheting the baby blanket I had made to give him! Naomi __ Thornton ... can't remember her middle name. But that is one of the wonderful things that has happened. Soon she will be volunteering for Habitat, and building houses of her own! Although she will probably start off with just the Gingerbread Builds. We gotta start'em small!

There have also been two Volunteer Appreciation Nights since I last wrote a regular Habitat post. The 19th Anniversary was a little boring; although the winner of the youth volunteer award was very cute! (they were not a kid, but a young adult, relax people!) The 20th Anniversary, on the other hand, was amazing! It was very well done, and it was at the Steam Whistle Brewery, a place I suggest they host it at next year! The event was also very well-paced, with speeches interspersed between ample time to mix and mingle.

Whereas some people were taking advantage of the "Brewery" location, I just went C+ style; all out for the orange pop! Well, I hope that this year I am able to contribute more to my Habitat adventures. Whether or not I am ever able to retell all that I have missed reporting on, I will not push myself to do. Just as long as I try to keep up in my writing with my Habitat participation this year, is all I can hope to achieve.

She Plays Hard

But she's here to have fun.

The month is Ocotber, 2007. Our team, then the Spartans, were thinking of getting some practice time, somewhere. Fast forward to June, 2008. Our team, this time around the Canadiens, were again thinking of getting some practice time somewhere … I began talking to Mandy Cole and Mandy Cronin about them starting a Women’s skills session, that our team could join. That fell through. Now again, move to October, 2008; our team manager mentions practices. A long-term advocate of them, I perk up. Practices? Do we need practices? Is there an actual opportunity? Yes, one of the league convenors said she was willing to coach us. Great! So I did research on the least expensive rink time, and the best location I could get.

Last of all, zoom to the present moment. We are now just ending this hockey season, and our team has managed 8 practices. At first, it was just our team, but we only had intermittent commitment from our ladies, and a poorly planned financial situation, leaving us in the red because of lack of commitment. For the latter half, we practiced with new recruits, broke well into the black, and were able to properly reward our practice coaches. For me personally, I wonder if it has been more stress than it was worth. Our team chemistry has changed. I feel responsible. I feel my attitude in part was also responsible. I was in the organizer position, and I ended up being “the young punk with attitude”, pawed aside by my “wiser and more experienced teammates and coaches”. If I was going to be the leader, maybe I should have been a more enthusiastic cheerleader. Or maybe I am just having delusions of grandeur, that I could have affected team chemistry that much. Maybe I am not THAT responsible for everything that has happened this year. Things just happened. But in a way, I am glad that they did. I am in this to improve myself, and eventually play more competitively.

I think only time will tell that. I learned that gathering team commitment for practices can be like herding cats, and am very grateful for the help and persuasive tactics of a team member who moonlights (when she’s not playing hockey, of course!) as a Senior Executive Marketing Officer … who helped out immensely. In the bigger picture, I know my attitude on the practice ice lately has been way too aloof socially, and to intense about my game. Every mistake has built up to be the end of the world. That’s not they way I used to see practices. Because I know this, I think I have some “getting back to a better attitude” to do here. I used to thoroughly LOVE her practices, and her energy that everyone on the ice adopted. I still remember her pushing us on the ice. I hope that is what things will be getting back to this Spring’s Skills and Drills. Or maybe it’s Cole and Cronin’s job to take on that position now. Who knows? Let’s see what their Spring practices are like.

There were also decisions that were made during this hockey season. I know my goal is to improve, personally, to the level where I am playing competitive women’s hockey at a B level, by the time I am 35. Attainable? I hope so. The biggest thing that has got to change, though, seems to be my attitude. Stubborn, stoic and determined don’t seem to be good enough qualities, although just potentially annoying ones. Enthusiasm, social graces, always having something good to say, not in any way ever even looking like you are trying to be NHL level (or any better than you are) … and not getting pissed off in any way if you miss, you can’t shoot, you’re not good enough at the drill, etc. It’s a shift from personal depreciation, which can bring everyone down, to team support.

Is there any such thing as “team attitude therapy?” I think we need some! I think it’s called “team building skills” and days, and events. Cassie Campbell talked extensively about what her team did to build team spirit, including training at bootcamp. Hmm, Maybe Cole and Cronin would be willing to put us through a week of hockey bootcamp … is that what we need? I personally would love that kind of test. But maybe that’s something a little more what I need to do with people my own age; people who have the ability to be pushed through grueling physical routines, and sometimes just keep going because they don’t know when to stop. THAT is the kind of thing that I would LOVE to push against. I love to push myself against that kind of test, I love succeeding, and I love failing and trying again. But I think I approach that too aggressively, and too turned in on myself, and what I am doing, and whether or not I succeed or fail.

Some team decisions Cassie’s team had to make were on the topic of those who refused to go even TRY the gauntlet that the rest of the team went through on the first day of bootcamp, where they witnessed military personnel going through this obstacle course first. Those women were the ones who, in the end, got cut. Not because they weren’t good enough physically, but because they didn’t even try out this test.

“There were three or four girls who, when called on, wouldn’t even try the course. This was when Davidson began to question these people, and their ability to be members of that team. I don’t think any of those girls made the Olympic team. As I mentioned earlier, Cassie honestly admitted that none of them finished the gauntlet, even though they were all trained athletes, but everyone who tried it was able to prove that day that they were committed to the team. If they failed, they would fail as a team, but at least they all tried. That boot camp was perhaps the bonding experience that united that team, the way Cassie described it at least. It would be too, they were treated like soldiers; their wake-up call would come early in the morning, (6 or 7, I believe) and they would fall back into their beds, exhausted, at about 10pm after seven training sessions each day.”

A little intense for our team? Yes. but I wouldn’t mind more pre-season team-spirit training. I wouldn’t mind a hard-assed, tough coach. I like playing to improve, just as long as we can all actively remember, including the coach, that we are playing to have fun. I think if I could speak for everyone, I would say that we all lose sight of that sometimes, and focus a little too closely on the carrot in front of our own nose. But I can only say that, with 100% accuracy, about myself. Why do I even have that goal? Because I am in control of its outcome, not the economy, not whether or not I have a job, not my family – although they DO support me, not even the ice itself, but just me.

Women's Build

Habitat for Humanity Toronto is planning it’s own Women’s Build. Of course, there are many different opinions about having a Women’s Build. There are some people at the Habitat office who are behind it with all their hearts. That is truly wonderful. There are also people who have flatly and bluntly refused any participation in the event, either because they feel they have to spend so much time cleaning up after the scrambled eggs that they feel a “Blitz” is in general, or because they look with dread to the disaster that this Women’s Build will be, in their opinion. I believe that, for all its possible flaws, this Women’s Build is worth the effort, and should be extended throughout as much of the duration of the build of these 6 houses as possible.

* To clarify something here, this “Build Blitz” has been altered in name to just Women’s Build.

Those who are against this Women’s Build have cited that they believe that, inevitably, Blitzes are poorly organized, and only lead to repairs and set-backs in the progress of the project. That, I cannot COMPLETELY argue against. That is because I do not know enough of the aftermath of a Blitz to say whether or not it is worth it. But if that is that case, then why doesn’t Habitat Head Office figure out how to better organize themselves, and actually work with their Site Supers and Block Leaders to successfully execute a Build / Blitz, and not just rename it to avoid the negative stigma of a Blitz? Renaming is just a Band-Aid solution. I also know that there are possible setbacks in EVERY build, Habitat or "professional", and even the best intentioned of Block Leaders can sometimes glue and nail down a piece of sub-flooring, and then have it pointed out to them; "shouldn't the side that says THIS SIDE DOWN be placed facing down? ..." Oh well. We all make mistakes. Too late to fix it now.

For people who sit in judgment of this effort, and criticize the Women's Build, remember that Habitat is NOT Mattamy, or Monarch (even though we have finished homes on a Monarch build site!) Yes, I know how Habitat works. Maybe not as well as any of its employees, but I DO have my own perspective. Habitat exists NOT to follow the exact same behaviours as the profession of residential construction, but to provide homes for those who would otherwise live in conditions well below the poverty line, and there are disgusting places to live, even in Toronto.

Another thing the proponents of the failure of the Women’s Build seem to believe is that, at some level or another, women can’t build. Women believe this. More than that, Female volunteers, and Crew Members/Leaders at Habitat believe this, about other women. How sexist and self-depreciating is that? Or are they excusing themselves of this behaviour, and believing that the only women who will participate in this build (all the women involved, over a period of nine days) are Fashionista airheads and featherweights who don’t know one end of a hammer from another?

I have heard from different women, including more than one Biker, and one Bike Instructor with the Ministry of Transportation, that women approach learning and getting things done differently than men do. Some of her stories are quite entertaining! There have been male students, all impatient and ready to go Go GO! Speed, faster, harder! Let’s be manly and ride motorcycles! Bugger theory, who needs that, let’s get on these bikes and ride! And then she is legally responsible for licensing these people, and she cannot license these men, because they cannot handle a Bike properly. And yet, women tend to take riding more seriously. They LISTEN to the lesson, and incorporate strategy into their approach. They think things through. They focus on technique. Yes, there are also Fashionistas even there, who only want to learn how to ride a bike to go down to the States and ride in their bikinis … where a helmet isn’t mandatory and a bikini-ed body splattered all over the road is cool and fashionable, but there are also women out there with brains, who are serious about learning to ride; learning to build.

Women can take building seriously. They can be dedicated to the cause of Habitat and fundraising for it, learning to build, and building for it. I am looking forward to, I will admit, the Oh-Yei with a crowd of Women. I am also prepared for set-backs, conflict, and dealing with conflict, solving problems, thinking creatively, and working as teams. Just as much as anything else, I am looking forward to building on this site, and (I hope) having fun at this Women’s Build. I do not wholly disagree with these women who believe in the inevitable flaws of a Build/Blitz, or women building. But I am in this Women’s Build anyway. I am in it because I believe in the cause of giving women the opportunity to build; and my own story is a case in point. I believe that giving other women that opportunity to participate in building fits in perfectly with how Habitat works, and what it is supposed to be about.