She Plays Hard

But she's here to have fun.

The month is Ocotber, 2007. Our team, then the Spartans, were thinking of getting some practice time, somewhere. Fast forward to June, 2008. Our team, this time around the Canadiens, were again thinking of getting some practice time somewhere … I began talking to Mandy Cole and Mandy Cronin about them starting a Women’s skills session, that our team could join. That fell through. Now again, move to October, 2008; our team manager mentions practices. A long-term advocate of them, I perk up. Practices? Do we need practices? Is there an actual opportunity? Yes, one of the league convenors said she was willing to coach us. Great! So I did research on the least expensive rink time, and the best location I could get.

Last of all, zoom to the present moment. We are now just ending this hockey season, and our team has managed 8 practices. At first, it was just our team, but we only had intermittent commitment from our ladies, and a poorly planned financial situation, leaving us in the red because of lack of commitment. For the latter half, we practiced with new recruits, broke well into the black, and were able to properly reward our practice coaches. For me personally, I wonder if it has been more stress than it was worth. Our team chemistry has changed. I feel responsible. I feel my attitude in part was also responsible. I was in the organizer position, and I ended up being “the young punk with attitude”, pawed aside by my “wiser and more experienced teammates and coaches”. If I was going to be the leader, maybe I should have been a more enthusiastic cheerleader. Or maybe I am just having delusions of grandeur, that I could have affected team chemistry that much. Maybe I am not THAT responsible for everything that has happened this year. Things just happened. But in a way, I am glad that they did. I am in this to improve myself, and eventually play more competitively.

I think only time will tell that. I learned that gathering team commitment for practices can be like herding cats, and am very grateful for the help and persuasive tactics of a team member who moonlights (when she’s not playing hockey, of course!) as a Senior Executive Marketing Officer … who helped out immensely. In the bigger picture, I know my attitude on the practice ice lately has been way too aloof socially, and to intense about my game. Every mistake has built up to be the end of the world. That’s not they way I used to see practices. Because I know this, I think I have some “getting back to a better attitude” to do here. I used to thoroughly LOVE her practices, and her energy that everyone on the ice adopted. I still remember her pushing us on the ice. I hope that is what things will be getting back to this Spring’s Skills and Drills. Or maybe it’s Cole and Cronin’s job to take on that position now. Who knows? Let’s see what their Spring practices are like.

There were also decisions that were made during this hockey season. I know my goal is to improve, personally, to the level where I am playing competitive women’s hockey at a B level, by the time I am 35. Attainable? I hope so. The biggest thing that has got to change, though, seems to be my attitude. Stubborn, stoic and determined don’t seem to be good enough qualities, although just potentially annoying ones. Enthusiasm, social graces, always having something good to say, not in any way ever even looking like you are trying to be NHL level (or any better than you are) … and not getting pissed off in any way if you miss, you can’t shoot, you’re not good enough at the drill, etc. It’s a shift from personal depreciation, which can bring everyone down, to team support.

Is there any such thing as “team attitude therapy?” I think we need some! I think it’s called “team building skills” and days, and events. Cassie Campbell talked extensively about what her team did to build team spirit, including training at bootcamp. Hmm, Maybe Cole and Cronin would be willing to put us through a week of hockey bootcamp … is that what we need? I personally would love that kind of test. But maybe that’s something a little more what I need to do with people my own age; people who have the ability to be pushed through grueling physical routines, and sometimes just keep going because they don’t know when to stop. THAT is the kind of thing that I would LOVE to push against. I love to push myself against that kind of test, I love succeeding, and I love failing and trying again. But I think I approach that too aggressively, and too turned in on myself, and what I am doing, and whether or not I succeed or fail.

Some team decisions Cassie’s team had to make were on the topic of those who refused to go even TRY the gauntlet that the rest of the team went through on the first day of bootcamp, where they witnessed military personnel going through this obstacle course first. Those women were the ones who, in the end, got cut. Not because they weren’t good enough physically, but because they didn’t even try out this test.

“There were three or four girls who, when called on, wouldn’t even try the course. This was when Davidson began to question these people, and their ability to be members of that team. I don’t think any of those girls made the Olympic team. As I mentioned earlier, Cassie honestly admitted that none of them finished the gauntlet, even though they were all trained athletes, but everyone who tried it was able to prove that day that they were committed to the team. If they failed, they would fail as a team, but at least they all tried. That boot camp was perhaps the bonding experience that united that team, the way Cassie described it at least. It would be too, they were treated like soldiers; their wake-up call would come early in the morning, (6 or 7, I believe) and they would fall back into their beds, exhausted, at about 10pm after seven training sessions each day.”

A little intense for our team? Yes. but I wouldn’t mind more pre-season team-spirit training. I wouldn’t mind a hard-assed, tough coach. I like playing to improve, just as long as we can all actively remember, including the coach, that we are playing to have fun. I think if I could speak for everyone, I would say that we all lose sight of that sometimes, and focus a little too closely on the carrot in front of our own nose. But I can only say that, with 100% accuracy, about myself. Why do I even have that goal? Because I am in control of its outcome, not the economy, not whether or not I have a job, not my family – although they DO support me, not even the ice itself, but just me.