Nelly’s world

Let me talk to you for a little while about Nelly Furtado’s world. In the world she lives in, promiscuity is empowering. To her, that word means “she’s not faithful to one musical style”. She should tell that to her child out of wedlock; Nevis. Only some people think that promiscuous refers to “the practice of making relatively casual and indiscriminate choices. The term is most commonly applied to sexual behavior, where it refers to a person who does not limit their sex life to the cultural norm, typically one partner, or to the framework of a long term monogamous sexual relationship”. Seeing as that was defined by the masses, and the masses have had the opportunity to refine that definition to perfection, using the web standard of wikipedia, I think it’s safe to say that Nelly was a bit confused when she thought promiscuity refered to music.

To the teenage girls in her audience though, it might just mean “being cool”. See how many different definitions there are? The entire article in the January issue of Reader’s Digest proves Nelly’s stupidity, and the stupidity of the culture that supports her. Nelly says that “As we grow older, we become more confident in our womanhood”. Well, who is ‘we’, to begin with, and how does she define ‘confidence’? I’m sorry, I think I might be being a bit picky, but confidence does not equate promiscuity. I know many women who are confident, and none of them would define themselves that way. Does Nelly think those two words are interchangeable?

Nelly continues throughout this article to spell it out – she’s bought into “sex sells”, plain and simple. I feel sorry for her, her view of the world, and her child. “Since I’ve had a baby, I love my body, I love my curves … the worst thing you can do is not love yourself. And I do now—I think that happens when you have a child”. Here I would hesitate again. Does that mean that women (and even men) can only love themselves when they have a child? What about the poor people who choose not to have children? Does that mean that going multi-platinum and publicly professing your relatively casual choices has nothing to do with loving yourself? That’s good to know! Does that also mean that your partner has learned to love himself, because now he has a child? What about – to throw in a non-sequitor – all those women in China who threw out their female children with the trash? Wow, that’s a lot of self-loving people out there!

I think I have learned through this article what newly converted sell-outs say to justify their choices. It’s an insight into how the mind tries to cope with what they’re doing in this pop-capitalist culture of ours. They will turn their worlds inside out, and say that they have found themselves and are a better, self-loving person now because of it. Are they really?

It seems as though many women in pop media go through this stage at some time or another. Sometimes I guess I could feel sorry for them; the pressure they are under must be intense. Just looking at the evidence; “promiscuous” women, from the sex kitten of the 20’s, to the slut of the 2000’s, portrayed as ‘art’ is enough to break the weak-minded, and so, she breaks. She’s endured the wringer of photoshoots, prescribed beauty and self-love, and a guided tour along the narrow path to lipstick and attention. She was never provided with the Necessary Dreams girls need to thrive in this world. No wonder she finds it easier to just go this way after she’s lived such a hard life.

At one point in the article, Nelly mentions that THE downside of being an artist is that “you get intrigued by many people, it keeps you moving” as the explanation for leaving her partner of four years. I’m not sure about that one, either. She forgot to mention other downsides of being an artist, although not as common as the one she just sighted: does she know about the painter who cut off his ear? Or the singers who have overdosed on drugs to their own deaths? Suddenly her “celebrity common” reason of leaving her partner, and the freedom her child has bought her seem like good alternatives to self-love after all. I’m glad she can love herself. After some people do “promiscuous” things (like write a multi-platinum record, changing from light music to hip-hop) they find they have fallen from grace, and are ashamed. But her experiences have allowed her to rise to new heights, and become a moral person. I pity where she was before.

But I apologize, this shouldn’t be about Nelly; this should be about the standards of society that led such things to happen on a daily basis. I think people need to choose, on a much more regular basis, the standards of learning, advocacy, personal challenges, self-discipline, etiquette, will(& won’t) power, and a social conscience over selling out and selling sex.

I do, however, agree with one of the closing lines of this article, where Nelly states that “I’ve always followed my instincts, and now I’m waiting for lightning to strike because I’m so happy!”

Aren’t we all.