Women's Conference; The Power Within, Part I

This is a Woman’s Conference, and it’s called The Power Within. It was held in the Convention Centre (North, I believe) in Toronto, and it was a day that my family agreed was so good, so brilliant, that it was much too intense – all the information the speakers imparted on the audience, and the fact that so many brilliant speakers were packed into only eight hours made it off-paced. It could have been a little slower-paced, augmented with workshops and panels; I agree with that completely. But I also thoroughly enjoyed the day, and because I took notes I am able to appreciate the day more. These have helped to bring back other pertinent points in the conference. They can also bring the audience back to being there; everything that they sensed and remembered about the day.

Without further ado, let’s begin at my beginning.
Cassie Campbell gave the keynote speech, and because I am working on my hockey again, she was the biggest speaker of the day for me personally. They were all absolutely brilliant, it’s just that because my challenges to prevail over as a woman all lie in breakthroughs with physical strength and ability, and those are areas Cassie excels in, as well as team (sports-related) leadership, she would be the woman of the whole group that I would choose as a personal role model. Cassie addressed aloud in her speech what she was asked to talk about at the Conference; the Power Within. What is the Power Within, what feeds it, what it is made from … and she admitted throughout her speech that she couldn’t define it; she wasn’t able to pin-point it and hold it in her hands, but she made such a speech that it didn’t really matter. She illustrated that the power within, for her, came from teamwork, commitment, courage, and the ability to keep playing against all odds; to believe in your team.

She talked about everyday hockey challenges, and that you need to face these kinds of things everyday to become a better person, and a better player. She cited her successes and failures, both as a player, and on behalf of her team. With her unique perspective, she was able to do her part to bring her team together. She never really said very many things that she did personally as a team captain, but instead told the story of her team.

She talked about her team’s 1998 failure in Nagano, and how there was a lot of finger-pointing then, and how the team was on the edge. But that was the loss that drove them to improve their hockey and team player skills. That loss forced them to re-examine their perspective, and question, on an individual basis, why they were there at the Olympics.

Cassie talked about one of the predominant factors in their success being that they were constantly told they couldn’t achieve this next win, and that opposition gave them something to push against, and they pushed wisely. They pushed in the direction of their values. They trained incessantly. If they were accepted onto the Olympic Women’s Hockey team, they had to quite their jobs and train 3 times a day. They had another loss along the way as well, at the 2005 World Championships, which proved to them that facing their everyday hockey challenges was simply not enough, they needed to change their mentality from focusing on individual effort and finger pointing, to focusing on working as a team. From then forward, they adopted the slogan WAR – we are responsible; we are accountable for our actions on and off the ice; we are responsible for taking care of ourselves, and developing the team. They became responsible. THAT was their first step to becoming unstoppable.

However, their flight to the top was no easy ride. Cassie attributes the team’s pulling together and changing their attitude as brought about in part by Davidson’s influence. Melody Davidson was already working for the team as an assistant coach for the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City, and by the 2006 Olympics in Torino, she had become Head Coach. She took the team through rigorous training, not to mention took them to boot camp.

During this camp, they had the opportunity to witness a group of soldiers in full gear go through a grueling gauntlet, this was not just a jump-through-the-tires obstacle course, but involved climbing walls, crawling under barbed wires with all their gear on, etc. All the ladies on the team were then told to go through the same course, and NONE of them finished it. The key factor in this course, however, was not so much a test of skill as set out by Davidson, but a test of courage, team commitment, and the ability of those girls to step up to the plate and do something for the team. There were three or four girls who, when called on, wouldn’t even try the course. This was when Davidson began to question these people, and their ability to be members of that team. I don’t think any of those girls made the Olympic team. As I mentioned earlier, Cassie honestly admitted that none of them finished the gauntlet, even though they were all trained athletes, but everyone who tried it was able to prove that day that they were committed to the team. If they failed, they would fail as a team, but at least they all tried. That boot camp was perhaps the bonding experience that united that team, the way Cassie described it at least. It would be too, they were treated like soldiers; their wake-up call would come early in the morning, (6 or 7, I believe) and they would fall back into their beds, exhausted, at about 10pm after seven training sessions each day.

I think that boot camp would bond just about any team, but that’s not the only thing that Cassie cited as a factor in their success. She took into consideration something I believe that many women can understand; that teamwork for women is unique. It involves so much more than just being out on the ice together – that is not enough. Being a true team for women means that you really do eat, sleep and breathe “team”. You need to build up a trust with your team members. Cassie discussed this “dressing room dynamic” as being a critical part of a female team. She made a good point, saying that in women’s teams, the social aspect is huge, and even then, it can be extremely difficult to get right. You need to be able to communicate, or you don’t have a team. She asked us how many times you have been in an argument with a girl friend, or been angry, and someone asks you what is wrong and you say “nothing”. So you don’t talk, the other person doesn’t talk, and everyone can sense something is brewing.

Cassie said that kind of thing happened occasionally on the team, but that the most important piece of advice she would have for that situation is to address any issues you have with the person you have them with immediately. Don’t wait for it to come to a boil, don’t tell another group of people, and then let the other person know by committee, just take them aside, privately, and tell them straight out. That is risky business, even though it’s the best thing to do. Believe me, I’ve tried. You need to know what you are feeling, and that you have tried your best to change, first. You also need to know that this is something you need to tell the other person, and it is directly related to you, not just something you feel the other person needs to change about themselves. It is a tricky rope to walk, but Cassie is right, you need to keep the lines of communication open. If done properly, this can be a huge proponent in gaining the other girl’s trust.

You need to build up experiences together outside of hockey. You need to have some fun together, get to know each other, not as best friends, but at least to build a trust in one another. By sharing, by bonding. You need to go out with your team members and make sure you are in constant communication with them. You can take them out to coffee, lunch, beer, anything as long as you talk.

Cassie talked about playing roles on and off the ice, and said that the biggest thing you can do to support your team is to let everyone know that they are making a contribution, and that their efforts are recognized. That was something she was called on to do by one of her team members, who felt that the defense wasn’t being recognized well enough – a valid issue, as the big thing in hockey is points, and defense usually are not a big part of the point system in the game. Yes, it would be nice to invent a point system for the defense, or some way to recognize them, but Cassie didn’t have that choice. She asked her teammate what she wanted her to do. “I don’t know” was her response “you are the team captain; it’s up to you to think of something.” Cassie was then faced with a unique problem; how to acknowledge these behind the scenes players so that they feel equal members of the team? The answer lay in a t-shirt. A simple t-shirt, decorated with symbols that meant a lot to the defensive team, presented to them in the dressing room and explained to them, every symbol on each shirt a tribute to the girl’s connection to the team, their own personal contributions, and their contributions as a defensive unit made all the difference in the world. Never underestimate the power of making someone feel like they are making a contribution to the team.

To wrap-up her experiences with her team, Cassie brought us back to the beginning and showed us how far her team had come; they had set a standard that the entire world could not beat, and continued to set it, holding up a challenge to the rest of the world and saying that if you want to be the best, this is what you have to do. You have to eat, sleep and breathe team. You have to be responsible. You have to train three times a day, every day. You have to do more than face the everyday challenges; you have to go out and make challenges of your own, and when you have achieved all of those, you need to reach even higher, and achieve even more.

The Power Within, for Cassie, was not just about her team, but also about the whole Olympic experience. She illustrated that through a couple of video clips full of people winning and losing. Of people making it through to the top of the podium, and people who fell along the way. The emotions at the Olympics, whether positive or negative, are overwhelming and crushing. They are bigger than any person there and every person there, and it takes a certain type of power, once you are at the Olympics, to perform at the top of the world. Those videos were very powerful. I remember the crying and the injuries most of all, because those were the people whose bobsleds were upended and became bowling pins to their own high-speed bowling ball, or missed a jump and were thrown down the rest of the hill, or slipped on their speed skates and went crashing into the boards, sobbing, not because of their specific injury, but because in a split second everything they had trained for was gone. That takes power to endure.

There is so much out there that Cassie has contributed, and this post doesn’t even cover her entire speech, but here is a snippet of some of Cassie’s experiences directly with Torino: http://www.cbc.ca/olympics/athletes/diaries/campbell/entry5.shtml

drywall mudding, day2

Today we were working with a school group, and these were the type of people who did not, for the most part, want to be at Habitat. There was one young woman, however, who was the same caliber of learner as Maria, as one instruction was all she needed to do an absolutely gorgeous job. She also had her own system going, and began to build up her own habits, which would allow her to do quality work at a very good speed.

Most of the group needed a large amount of babysitting, and were still more interested in continuing their own backstabbing arguments during the day then getting work done. It was very disgustingly dramatic. I also had the opportunity to show Barb how to do drywall taping so that she would be able to take half the team, as that group was about 4 hands-full!

drywall mudding, day1

Today was my first day (of what would be three) doing drywall taping. I had a corporate group today, which was good because I needed people who could bring their own initiative and intelligence to the project. I am good at teaching, but I would prefer to move forward and make progress then deal with people who have no skills, no desire to be there, and who are little troublemakers.

This day also started off a little slower, but it continued to go well as the day went on. Within this group there was a group of sisters. One of them (the older of the two) asked me who she thought was older. I would have said her sister, but then I looked at what was really there. Look at their height, look at the look in their eyes, look at who they ARE, not what they look like stereotypically on the first glance, or because of their height. And I got it right.

Happy Mother’s Day!

My Mother is an amazing person. She is a wonderful storyteller, she is passionate, she is committed to promoting education, and helping others. Everything she does touches someone, positively, in some way.

She has taken a world where she may have had very little positive happy light, and created a world where there is positive in everything. That is the world that she brought my sister and I into, and that is the world she brought us up in. One example of how she puts everything in s positive light is in her presentation of my paternal Grandmother. She passed away a few years ago, but while she was around, Mom would tell me stories about her, about how she loved the birds, about how she loved going for walks, especially in the North York Cemetary, because she just found that place very peaceful. She also told me about how Grandma was a very strong woman; she signed herself into a hospital, and took herself off an open-ended prescription for Valium that some doctor gave her after her husband died.

Most importantly about this example, is that it was through my Mother that I came to love my Grandma. My Mother’s view of Grandma made her a wonderful person. I realised this the first time I was walking to work and heard a cardinal, just a couple of months ago, and thought of Grandma, but what got to me was that it wasn’t Grandma who taught me about the cardinal, it was Mom. It’s Mom’s voice that I hear saying: “when you hear that call ‘bir-dee, bir-dee, bir-dee!’ THAT is a cardinal. That’s what Grandma told me.” I remember loving Grandma so much, but that is because of Mom.

So, thank you Mom. When I do something good in this world, when I see people, especially women, for their beauty and their strength, it’s because of you. When I recognize the strength of a woman’s love, or a mother’s love, or recognize the accomplishments of women in this world, and can find love, respect and compassion (even 4 Nana sometimes!) it is ALL because of the person you are, and have taught me to be.

Thank you for giving me this world, thank you for all your help, and your hope, and your strength. Thank you for teaching me how to see the good things in this world, and showing me how to be strong. These are lessons that, although I may stray from, will always give me strength, and allow me to know that I am capable of having faith, and being good in this world.
I love you.
Happy Mother’s Day.

Recognition

Recognition is not like attention, as attention is usually given as the result of something either negative about a person or situation, or just something that “is”. For example, if a person IS blind, and they receive attention for it, they are not being given that attention based on qualities they have honed, good things they have done, their accomplishments, their compassion, or any other thing that they are as a person, but just for a fact that they had no control over. Recognition on the other hand carries a very prestigious quality to it. Recognition is something that is handed down, and is not only rewarding for the one receiving it, but for the one giving it as well. It is a quality in and of itself if you are qualified to give it to someone else. It says that either you are able to truly recognize the talents in someone else even if you do not share them (in this way akin to empathy) or from another point of view that you have earned this recognition yourself, and are able to now pass it down to the next generation of hard workers who you recognize as going through the same struggles as you did and having the same potential as you (in this way, it shows qualities of self-awareness, as well as openness and willingness to pass information and training down to the next generation).

Recognition seems to be part of a cycle. You behave properly, live up to a standard, go through the appropriate hoops, and reach a certain level of achievement. In turn, others who have already reached those standards or that level of achievement acknowledge your accomplishments, and encourage your behaviour with positive feedback. This can be the most difficult element in dealing with others, especially if they seem to need it to move forwards. But we ALL need it, and we ALL need to bestow it on others. When we share encouragement and recognition of each other, we create the external cycle of progress in production, and a successful system. When this cycle is broken, power struggles, lack of motivation, decreased standards, and conflict usually ensues.

There is also an internal cycle of recognition, which is just as important as the external cycle, and cannot exist in isolation. In this cycle, each person needs to realize when she/he does things that are aligned with their goals, and reward themselves for that behaviour. They need to encourage wanted behaviour in themselves, and recognize that there is a growth process, one that includes making mistakes along the way, in achieving their goals. Every success should be recognized from within, and every unnecessary fear should be something they just let go.

These two cycles of recognition need to work in tandem in order for motivation and positive production to result. If a person recognizes themselves internally, but receives no outward recognition, they will most likely slow down, and lose motivation. They may simply be dealing with no outward recognition, or they may even be dealing with a system that, however subtly or outright, degrades their position and denies them status. On the other hand, if a person receives recognition, but denies themselves the right to it; tells themselves that they in fact do NOT deserve it and that those bestowing the recognition (if it is genuine) are too stupid to see reality they are engaging in an equally destructive process.

External recognition is especially important if someone is just learning a new process, and cannot be expected to know whether or not they are doing the right thing. But it can’t end there. Recognition needs to be constant, and there are even whole courses of study that examine the different forms recognition can take. The point is that recognition is necessary, and it is a positive and productive path towards growth, one that invariably rewards all parties involved.

Crew Leader; Day three

On my third day as a Crew Leader my job was to starting prepping the back of the units, and gift-wrap the block with Tyvek; a weatherization vinyl, which helps to keep moisture away from the wood, and exterior air away from interior air. This group consisted of a highschool group, one of their teachers (Brian II) and Andrew Chau, who finally had the time to come out and join the crew … MY crew this time. Andrew and I had just worked the entire previous week on creating an information design poster about Sustainable Architecture, which failed miserably as per the contest judges, but at least we had a lot of fun doing the project, we did it on our own, and now have a solid portfolio piece.

The first item of business that day was to work on sealing the pieces of OSB with Acoustiseal – nasty sticky black tar, essentially. The weather was hot today, so that stuff came out easily, but was very difficult to use without getting everywhere. Another problem were the cages. One of them was missing a plate, so the bolt kept punching through the bottom end of the tube of caulking, and under the pressure the Acoustiseal would come out the back – disgusting number one. We fixed that with a piece of wood to act as a substitute for the metal plate on the gun. Once that was working, we went through two more guns through technical difficulties. I brought them out to C+, and her and I tried to fix them … meanwhile, I had left my crew to their jobs, and need to get back to them. I used a plastic bag over my hand to try to fix the cage, but C+ just used her hands, so they were getting all black and sticky.

I eventually left when Andrew came around to get me, and C+ finished fixing the guns for me. When she was done, I took off her wrist braces and we used grade (stones) as a pumice along with a water bucket to clean our hands. Once all the seams of OSB were sealed we moved on to begin putting up the Tyvek using staple guns. Everything we could do without using a zoom boom we did, and we got the entire back of the house wrapped.

The final element of the day was to get nails into the SIPs along the side of the house, as Brian mentioned that they hadn’t been nailed in yet. So out with the ladders, and my entire team was working on hammering for the last hour or so of the day. At least all the girls got to learn how to hammer.

Today I also “let one of my crew members go” as they were being disrespectful and just a general pain in the butt, so in the early afternoon I had apparently inherited another crew member, and when I saw that guy at the back, dripping with ego and attitude, I faced off with him. And I won. I kept it joking around, but told him that he was welcome to find another crew if he didn’t like this one, and so he took off. I got in no trouble, because nothing “wrong” happened, he just wasn’t right for the job he was working on, and needed to change crews. Sean was also in my crew, and I miss him. He’s supposed to be doing construction project management next year at George Brown, but in the meantime he’s off working on his family cottage.

Crew Leader; Day two

On my second day as a Crew Leader I didn’t do anything much again … well, it was still important; clean-up will always be important! Today was a major clean-up of sawdust, spare wood, nails, etc across all 10 units, second and third floor. The exciting part in today was that we were constrained by time; the wood recycling was there at about 10:30am. The wood recycling will take the scrap wood and use it to make many things, including woodchips and fertilizer. Here’s a nice bit for all you vegans / vegetarians; chicken guts are used in the process to make fertilizer, as well as wood. That then enriches the soil and feeds the plants. So are you really eating chicken vegan salad? ;-)

Tidbit break!
Yesterday, I was not able to answer the question of what Tyvek does. Since I forgot to ask Bruce or Brian, I found out online. Tyvek “is used to increase air and water resistance, helping to lower heating and cooling costs in buildings and providing better protection against water and moisture intrusion. The unique qualities of Tyvek help stop air flow through wall cavities; help hold out bulk water and wind-driven rain; and allow moisture vapor to escape from inside walls. The result is a more comfortable, energy-efficient building with far fewer chances for damage from degradation effects.”