A Habitat Comment

Here is a comment I just posted to my Mother's blog, and seeing how my blog has been tending towards lately, I thought I would post that same post on my own blog. Her post, and her blog; aka alias, is also a very good blog, much better than my own.

It is quite simple to volunteer for Habitat, whether for just a day, or a day every week unto forever. Some of the most common questions I get asked as a Crew Leader for Habitat are "do I need previous building experience?" often asked with a mixture of hope and trepidation, and "how long of a commitment is required?"

You do not need any previous experience. Take it from a Crew Leader who had never previously picked up a hammer in her life, to becoming a Crew Leader in 11, arguably 9 months.

The other question, you can give one day, all the way up to every day, and there is every combination you can think of in between. Some people give two straight weeks one summer, some people give one day a week for one month, some people give 3 days a week for three years ... there really is no limit. It's a great place to be, and I would recommend spending some time there. Get to know the Block Leaders, the Site Supervisor, the Volunteer Co-ordinators, and the other volunteers on-site. You really can make some great connections.

There are so many ways to get involved, as well as those posted, you can volunteer at a Restore, you can also get involved in the gingerbread builds, or for hardcore builders and travelers, there is even Global Village, an affiliate of Habitat, that will allow volunteers (whether with Habitat or not) to raise some money, then go and travel to build homes. It's a great way to travel, especially if you don't really like the touristy thing.

Causes?!?

Causes? There is a cause for being a tomboy? Is there a cure? Should we run for it? How much do you think we could raise? I just read this article from Wikipedia, something I came across after wandering through rainbow searches and villages across North America, and in search of ways to better understand who I am and how I fit into the world, I cam across a term I have often taken pride in referring to myself as; a tomboy. I was involved in hockey, karate, and baseball as a girl, and attended my first Womyn's day March when I was 8 years old, with my mother.

Then I came across this definition in wikipedia:
There is little study of the causality of the phenomenon, since it has been considered, first and foremost, to be a phase one might go through in early years of life. One theory of a possible cause is that a girl who spends her childhood and/or adolescence in an environment where the male presence predominates, she simply lacks any feminine role models. However, this hypothesis has been challenged by one report from the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children which suggests that the state is heavily influenced by genetic and prenatal factors.

My mother's side of the family is full of strong female figures, even the ones with attitude problems are still (99% of them at least) strong women.

The poor girls, they simply lack any feminine role models because "the male presence predominates" and they don't learn to how be feminine. But with the proper teaching, any of them can be trained in becoming a proper woman. Being a tomboy to me, even if the girl scores higher on the "feminine scales" is too much a part of my existence to ever ignore.

Women's Conference: The Power Within, Part I

This is a Woman’s Conference, and it’s called The Power Within. It was held in the Convention Centre (North, I believe) in Toronto, and it was a day that my family agreed was so good, so brilliant, that it was much too intense – all the information the speakers imparted on the audience, and the fact that so many brilliant speakers were packed into only eight hours made it off-paced. It could have been a little slower-paced, augmented with workshops and panels; I agree with that completely. But I also thoroughly enjoyed the day, and because I took notes I am able to appreciate the day more. These have helped to bring back other pertinent points in the conference. They can also bring the audience back to being there; everything that they sensed and remembered about the day.

Without further ado, let’s begin at my beginning.
Cassie Campbell gave the keynote speech, and because I am working on my hockey again, she was the biggest speaker of the day for me personally. They were all absolutely brilliant, it’s just that because my challenges to prevail over as a woman all lie in breakthroughs with physical strength and ability, and those are areas Cassie excels in, as well as team (sports-related) leadership, she would be the woman of the whole group that I would choose as a personal role model. Cassie addressed aloud in her speech what she was asked to talk about at the Conference; the Power Within. What is the Power Within, what feeds it, what it is made from … and she admitted throughout her speech that she couldn’t define it; she wasn’t able to pin-point it and hold it in her hands, but she made such a speech that it didn’t really matter. She illustrated that the power within, for her, came from teamwork, commitment, courage, and the ability to keep playing against all odds; to believe in your team.

She talked about everyday hockey challenges, and that you need to face these kinds of things everyday to become a better person, and a better player. She cited her successes and failures, both as a player, and on behalf of her team. With her unique perspective, she was able to do her part to bring her team together. She never really said very many things that she did personally as a team captain, but instead told the story of her team.

She talked about her team’s 1998 failure in Nagano, and how there was a lot of finger-pointing then, and how the team was on the edge. But that was the loss that drove them to improve their hockey and team player skills. That loss forced them to re-examine their perspective, and question, on an individual basis, why they were there at the Olympics.

Cassie talked about one of the predominant factors in their success being that they were constantly told they couldn’t achieve this next win, and that opposition gave them something to push against, and they pushed wisely. They pushed in the direction of their values. They trained incessantly. If they were accepted onto the Olympic Women’s Hockey team, they had to quite their jobs and train 3 times a day. They had another loss along the way as well, at the 2005 World Championships, which proved to them that facing their everyday hockey challenges was simply not enough, they needed to change their mentality from focusing on individual effort and finger pointing, to focusing on working as a team. From then forward, they adopted the slogan WAR – we are responsible; we are accountable for our actions on and off the ice; we are responsible for taking care of ourselves, and developing the team. They became responsible. THAT was their first step to becoming unstoppable.

However, their flight to the top was no easy ride. Cassie attributes the team’s pulling together and changing their attitude as brought about in part by Davidson’s influence.
Melody Davidson was already working for the team as an assistant coach for the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City, and by the 2006 Olympics in Torino, she had become Head Coach. She took the team through rigorous training, not to mention took them to boot camp.

During this camp, they had the opportunity to witness a group of soldiers in full gear go through a grueling gauntlet, this was not just a jump-through-the-tires obstacle course, but involved climbing walls, crawling under barbed wires with all their gear on, etc. All the ladies on the team were then told to go through the same course, and NONE of them finished it. The key factor in this course, however, was not so much a test of skill as set out by Davidson, but a test of courage, team commitment, and the ability of those girls to step up to the plate and do something for the team. There were three or four girls who, when called on, wouldn’t even try the course. This was when Davidson began to question these people, and their ability to be members of that team. I don’t think any of those girls made the Olympic team. As I mentioned earlier, Cassie honestly admitted that none of them finished the gauntlet, even though they were all trained athletes, but everyone who tried it was able to prove that day that they were committed to the team. If they failed, they would fail as a team, but at least they all tried. That boot camp was perhaps the bonding experience that united that team, the way Cassie described it at least. It would be too, they were treated like soldiers; their wake-up call would come early in the morning, (6 or 7, I believe) and they would fall back into their beds, exhausted, at about 10pm after seven training sessions each day.

I think that boot camp would bond just about any team, but that’s not the only thing that Cassie cited as a factor in their success. She took into consideration something I believe that many women can understand; that teamwork for women is unique. It involves so much more than just being out on the ice together – that is not enough. Being a true team for women means that you really do eat, sleep and breathe “team”. You need to build up a trust with your team members. Cassie discussed this “dressing room dynamic” as being a critical part of a female team. She made a good point, saying that in women’s teams, the social aspect is huge, and even then, it can be extremely difficult to get right. You need to be able to communicate, or you don’t have a team. She asked us how many times you have been in an argument with a girl friend, or been angry, and someone asks you what is wrong and you say “nothing”. So you don’t talk, the other person doesn’t talk, and everyone can sense something is brewing.

Cassie said that kind of thing happened occasionally on the team, but that the most important piece of advice she would have for that situation is to address any issues you have with the person you have them with immediately. Don’t wait for it to come to a boil, don’t tell another group of people, and then let the other person know by committee, just take them aside, privately, and tell them straight out. That is risky business, even though it’s the best thing to do. Believe me, I’ve tried. You need to know what you are feeling, and that you have tried your best to change, first. You also need to know that this is something you need to tell the other person, and it is directly related to you, not just something you feel the other person needs to change about themselves. It is a tricky rope to walk, but Cassie is right, you need to keep the lines of communication open. If done properly, this can be a huge proponent in gaining the other girl’s trust.

You need to build up experiences together outside of hockey. You need to have some fun together, get to know each other, not as best friends, but at least to build a trust in one another. By sharing, by bonding. You need to go out with your team members and make sure you are in constant communication with them. You can take them out to coffee, lunch, beer, anything as long as you talk.

Cassie talked about playing roles on and off the ice, and said that the biggest thing you can do to support your team is to let everyone know that they are making a contribution, and that their efforts are recognized. That was something she was called on to do by one of her team members, who felt that the defense wasn’t being recognized well enough – a valid issue, as the big thing in hockey is points, and defense usually are not a big part of the point system in the game. Yes, it would be nice to invent a point system for the defense, or some way to recognize them, but Cassie didn’t have that choice. She asked her teammate what she wanted her to do. “I don’t know” was her response “you are the team captain; it’s up to you to think of something.” Cassie was then faced with a unique problem; how to acknowledge these behind the scenes players so that they feel equal members of the team? The answer lay in a t-shirt. A simple t-shirt, decorated with symbols that meant a lot to the defensive team, presented to them in the dressing room and explained to them, every symbol on each shirt a tribute to the girl’s connection to the team, their own personal contributions, and their contributions as a defensive unit made all the difference in the world. Never underestimate the power of making someone feel like they are making a contribution to the team.

To wrap-up her experiences with her team, Cassie brought us back to the beginning and showed us how far her team had come; they had set a standard that the entire world could not beat, and continued to set it, holding up a challenge to the rest of the world and saying that if you want to be the best, this is what you have to do. You have to eat, sleep and breathe team. You have to be responsible. You have to train three times a day, every day. You have to do more than face the everyday challenges; you have to go out and make challenges of your own, and when you have achieved all of those, you need to reach even higher, and achieve even more.

The Power Within, for Cassie, was not just about her team, but also about the whole Olympic experience. She illustrated that through a couple of video clips full of people winning and losing. Of people making it through to the top of the podium, and people who fell along the way. The emotions at the Olympics, whether positive or negative, are overwhelming and crushing. They are bigger than any person there and every person there, and it takes a certain type of power, once you are at the Olympics, to perform at the top of the world. Those videos were very powerful. I remember the crying and the injuries most of all, because those were the people whose bobsleds were upended and became bowling pins to their own high-speed bowling ball, or missed a jump and were thrown down the rest of the hill, or slipped on their speed skates and went crashing into the boards, sobbing, not because of their specific injury, but because in a split second everything they had trained for was gone. That takes power to endure.

There is so much out there that Cassie has contributed, and this post doesn’t even cover her entire speech, but here is a snippet of some of Cassie’s experiences directly with Torino: http://www.cbc.ca/olympics/athletes/diaries/campbell/entry5.shtml

Habitat for Humanity, 4200 Kingston Rd.

Today was another great day at Habitat. My crew worked on putting up insulation (R-12, R-20, and Roxul) in units 9 and 8. Today was not the best crew I have ever had in the world (I still say that was the Markham church group, and I have all the signatures to prove it!) but they were a very good crew. I also really appreciate Brian’s taking the time lately to follow-up with me at the end of every day. I take the time to make sure I let him know how my progress has gone on whatever project, and in turn, he takes the time to come around to my units and do the walkthrough with me, talking about things like I missed filling a couple of gaps, or that the foam needed to be cut back in order to properly seal the cut made in the SIP to accommodate for the electrical wire. (Now I can start to wonder if the wires are 18/3, or 14/2, or what! And read up on products, etc! This is going to be so cool!)

Today I learned the finer details of insulation, how things should be done, and how they should not be done, and my success is a testament, once again, to C+’s amazing way with teaching. She made the lesson very clear to me, and how I was able to interpret it, and field any questions using common sense + her teaching allowed the day to go very smoothly.

I think that’s about it that I have to report today. Kudos to my crew for doing such a good job, following instructions, working well independently, and taking initiative to solve problems. They mostly worked in pairs, with my foaming/caulking/AcoustiSeal team member the only one going solo, and I am surprised and pleased that she had enough work to do even though her day was filled with these smaller projects. She was there with her daughter, and though her daughter was more interested in easier work than challenges, I still feel that she was a good addition to the team. She was also the youngest there, and one of my youngest crew members. She pulled her weight, and really worked well with her partner, who really enjoyed the challenge of doing some of the measuring and more difficult projects. At the end of the day, another one of my crew members, who was taking her lead from her partner (who wants to become a crew leader himself) surprised me. When I complemented her work to Brian, she gave me a huge hug, like that was the best thing anyone had said to her all week! THAT right there is a perfect example of why I go to H4H. She will live there, so she owes H4H that work; it’s part of her sweat equity – but it's still really nice to be complemented and recognized for her work, and I am really glad she got so much out of the day today. She was great, and her energy was really high all day. After Habitat she was going to her real job. Wow, what a day she puts in. I respect her for that alone! She was a very good worker, and I think that it’s wonderful she has a home here.

Lastly, I received open teasing today about being “Miss Canadian Tire”. I assume this is just all in good fun, and must admit that especially if it is, I enjoy that recognition from H4H people of my new job at CTC, although sometimes I wonder … maybe someone is even a little jealous that I am a supervisor there now?

A good question some of the staff of Habitat for Humanity of Toronto should answer

A fellow Habitat volunteer asked a question yesterday, it was rhetorical; just repeating a question someone else had put to her, or she had put to herself, as if to challenge her reasons for being at Habitat: why was she (still) there? She doesn’t get paid, she doesn’t even get appreciated as much as she would like … I understand that. Most volunteers come up against that feeling at least once when they are volunteering; staff of many NGOs tend to take their volunteers for granted, and even I have found that Habitat for Humanity Toronto is no exception. They are paid, and do not seem to realize that we are not. Habitat owes me personally at least $8000 by now for all the work I have done for them.

Since March, I have whole-heartedly upheld their promise to make sure the volunteers (as if I am not one … haha, fork over the cash then!) have a good time! I will continue to do it until the staff prove to me that they don’t appreciate me, but until then … why do I continue to work there?

Hmmmm, I work at Habitat because I feel alive there. I am thrilled to be a part of a project so much bigger than I am, and so much bigger than I ever dreamed I could be. I am there because I have earned the respect at least, if not a bit of a warm spot in the hearts / hearths? of the permanent people / fixtures onsite. I feel like I belong there. I have taken ownership of my work there. I have made some good friends there. I continue to meet interesting, quality people there; people who enrich my life. It is a chance for me to be good at doing something. It is there that I reaffirm my leadership skills; I am a good leader, and my crews reward me every week by reaffirming that fact, no matter what type of people I get. I have led them all. But they at least all share the fact that they want to learn, they want to volunteer, and want to be a part of something bigger than they are. They want to put up vapor barrier, or SIPs, or do drywall mudding, or even just do clean-up. They understand that no job is too menial or tedious when, by doing that job, you are helping to build a new life for someone who currently doesn’t have much in the way of this high standard of living that Canada is known for. In return, I understand that no job is below me, and that I can participate and lead crews to do any job assigned to me, and that we can all have fun doing it.

I have fulfilled my promise to Habitat. Will Habitat fulfill its promise to their people in orange? Will they recognize everything we do for them? We do not ask for money, I definitely do NOT want any books, or anything with the Habitat logo on it (except for my shirt, which I already own). All I ask for is training, investment of their time and organization, an opportunity to be listened to by the staff, and for the people who DO get paid to realize that I am as valuable to Habitat as they are, and to take my advice.

Please Habitat, this is my letter to you. Take seriously the input from the people in orange. Take your own dang notes on the advice they suggest you follow, and prove that you appreciate us by following our advice. THAT would be orange appreciation. Prove that you are committed to us. Meet us half-way. Or else we will leave.
If you want to know what our suggestions are, ask us. You have people volunteering for you who are more quality than you will ever know. You have something magic in your court – don’t lose it because you fail to appreciate it.

“The best prize life can offer, is the opportunity to work hard at work worth doing.”
~ Teddy Roosevelt

A City of Two Tales, or, Grand Design

Here's an indicator that everything goes exactly the way it was supposed to go. Ms. Gordon mentioned she was staying at the Sandman. Well, not Sunday night, but Monday night I ventured out on my own. My circuit took me through Stanley Park, where I met an grey-haired man who seemed to know more than his eyes saw. He asked me if he could help me find anything, while I was there at the information booth (which was closed) and getting myself a map. I decided to go for it. Yes, I am looking for food! He recommended the Fish House to me, but more than that. He took the time to recommend the restaurants to me, and let me choose the Fish House. He took the time to repeat the directions to me, painting a very clear picture to me of where to go. He discussed Davie Street with me, and advertised it as another good option for food. He then talked to me about the fireworks competition. It was almost as though he was painting a picture for me of everything I could do while I was there, but at the same time, he didn't try to sell me on anything; he just held the door open. It was also as though he could sense I was kind of afraid - I was nervous venturing out, esp. since I was alone on the trip, but getting very quickly lost by the time I reached that booth.

So, I trusted his guidance, and off I went. First the Fish House, then I walked along the seawall, and then, as if he was some sort of seer, I found myself at Davie Street. I walked it's entire length, and thoroughly enjoyed the scenery! ;-P By the time I got to the end though, I was once again thoroughly lost. I wandered along Pacific Road(?), and eventually made it to, by way of some strange luck, the neon green sign - The Sandman. How Neil Gaiman! So on my journey into believing that everything happens for a reason, I gratefully took the opportunity to stop by and get directions. When I saw that sign, I knew I was close to my hotel based on the tour guide's instructions from Sunday evening.

What a night, what a journey, and what a story that makes for!

Leonore Gordon

I am currently enjoying an adventurous week off of everything I usually do in a week (Habitat, Hockey, and CTR) and spending some time in Vancouver, taking a course in Print Production. The first day in Vancouver; Sunday, I went on a tour of Capilano Suspension Bridge and Grouse Mountain. On that trip, I met two women from New Zealand who were kind enough to share the trip with me, by the names of Leslie and Christine.

I also met two womyn from Brooklyn; Amina, and Leonore Gordon. It is the latter of the two that I would like to spend a couple of minutes discussing here. Sometimes you meet someone by chance, and when you meet them you have no idea “who they are”, and though you are grateful to have met them, you just part ways at the end of the conversation and that is the end of knowing them.

Leonore seemed to have a personality that was too determined and focused to just pass by, however. After talking with her for a few moments, she had already given me a set of instructions and her business card; I was to find out about cell phone antennas and her current petition to stop these antennas from going up onto roofs in residential areas, as the radiation they emit has been linked to brain cancer. Fair enough. I believe that any cause that can help to change lives for the better in any way is a cause worth pursuing. (See the next posting)

As well as an anti-antennae activist, Leonore is a poet, an author, a teacher, a mother, and a psychotherapist. Many of the causes she advocates are very personal to her, not least of which is Parkinson’s - a condition she has. I do not know if I will ever meet her again, apart from the few minutes I spent with her on the tour, but if I can pick a cause of hers (or all of her causes!) and continue to send out ripples, then I have helped her make a difference.

Leonore has taught poetry and writing in schools for almost three decades, with a focus on integrating this poetry and creative writing with other aspects of the student’s culture, such as African drumming or Native American dance and drumming lessons. Some of the things she has taught, and the approach she seems to take in her poetry, and creative writing remind me of my own Mother’s approach; studying similes and personification, use of vocabulary and sensory details, and integrating all these things into a curriculum that looks to empower students with cultural awareness, through putting on plays and performances, both projects my Mother has embarked on as well.

She seems to be an incredible woman. A few minutes of internet research have revealed more than enough proof of her accomplishments, of which I am sure there are many more than I have found out so far. I hope she is able to continue to teach, provide psychotherapy services, and continue to be an activist until well after her son graduates from high school, and perhaps even university. The world continues to need more strong women like her. Hopefully she can serve to be a living example of strength for many young women.

Anti-Antennae Activism

Leonore continues to advocate against antenna sitings, especially microcells, which are not covered in legislation that regulates the installation of antenna sitings around the states, and I assume Canada as well. In order to install one of these antennas in a residential area, there is no legislation that requires the company, such as T-mobile or Cingular, to inform the residents of the building that the cell phone microcell is being installed on their building, yet there is a chance that these antennas will bring a lovely little present to residents of these buildings, such as cancer or leukemia.

This begs the question brought up in the title of this article; Does the Wi-fi revolution directly endanger our health? To further that, is the laptop I am using now going to increase my risk of ovarian cancer? What is involved in this radiation?

Cell phone use may contribute to brain cancer. Why then, are these carcinogens allowed to pervade our daily lives, everything from cell phone antennas on apartment buildings, to the phones themselves, to other devices that use Wi-fi such as laptops(?)

Alright, there is a long and complicated process to follow to try to get an antenna off your roof, or prevent one from being installed there, but if there are any petitions going around in your neighbourhood to ban the installation of these devices, then by all means, sign it! I do not know what the procedure would be for eliminating these antennae in Canada, but if you are interested in pursuing the project, check out this link.

No Man's Woman

I don't wanna be no man's woman
It don't make me happy this mantrolling
Thing that you got for me so I become
No man's woman
I don't wanna be no man's woman
I've other work I want to get done
I haven't traveled this far to become
No man's woman
No Man's woman
Cuz I'm tired of it
And I'm not scared of it
That I'll never trust again
Cuz a man could fake you
Take your soul and make you
Miserable in so much pain
My friends think I'm alone but I've got secrets
I don't tell everything about the love I get
I got a lovin man but he's a spirit
He never does me harm never treats me bad
He never takes away all the love he has
And I forgive him a million times
I'm never tired of it
And I'm not scared of it
Cuz it doesn't cause me pain
Like a man could fake you
Take your soul and make you
Never be yourself again
I never wanna be no man's woman
I only wanna be my own woman
I haven't traveled this far to become
No man's woman

Habitat gift wrap

This was a big week for Habitaters; because on Thurday a true all-star team came in, including Darcy Tucker and Wendel Clarke. This was to be my last Friday on-site before moving to Saturdays. The day started out by a group cleaning of the back of the houses, including a magnet sweep. I kept my area clean by going through and cleaning once in the morning, and then later in the afternoon, and one of the guys from the ACC seems obsessed with leaving the plane clearn for us. He did such a good job I should have hired him solely for clean up!

On to the day, today consisted of prepping the window frames along the back for a process called blue skinning, and then skinning them. Blue skinning is a roll of rubber that has an incredibly sticky tar-like surface on the one side. Blue skinning is used to provide a watertight seal around the window, to prevent water from getting in through the window as it runs down the house. There can be no water that penetrates through to the wood, as the wood will then begin to rot.

Today I split up the eight people in my group to work on different goals: the first group was responsible for measuring all the windows, and cutting Blue skinning strips to the proper dimensions. Once they got a system going, they were able to carry through the entire day, from the first to the second floor. The second group consisted of 2 pairs of two blue skinners each, and they worked on putting up all the tape, bottom up. The third group went across first to make sure all the shims were properly nailed in, and broken down flush with the window edge. They then continued throughout the day to do smaller jobs, but if was very good that they did them without complaining, and seeing as Tom is a professional contractor, without even asking questions. Tom also did the side window with Hung, his group member for the day, and single handedly repaired some Tyvek that had ripped free with the air, and was threatening to take more of the Tyvek with it. This involved going up onto an extension ladder much more precarious than I ever would have, but his work had him up on ladders like this quite frequently.

In the afternoon, we had to do the second floor windows, which meant that the teams split up further into one person doing the ladder and the skinning, and the other person holding it steady on the ground. By this date, they had cleared out the ground for the second lot of homes, and they piled all the dust and dirt beside the first block of homes. Add a little wind, and this meant that we had the opportunity to eat that sand all afternoon. It got in everything – it was like being in a sandstorm almost, but my team were real troopers, and continued to work despite the sand getting everywhere. That was even more fun up on the ladder. I swear I got a temporary sand tan that day it was so bad!

Sisters in Strength

Any opportunity I have for contact with C+ I take, especially the ones that she initiates. I don’t know, but for all I say I am a very physical person; I seem to feel incredibly uncomfortable with contact.

Some people I feel comfortable with contact, and sometimes these people show up in strange places. Claudia is a given, as she is Colombian and friend of the family for years. She is very affectionate and very confident in being physical and affectionate. She is a very open and loving person, and that is part of what makes you feel like someone is wrapping you up in a warm security blanket when Claudia gives you a hug.

Sometimes, I want to make contact with the person, but it just feels uncomfortable. Sometimes, even with the same person, contact just happens, maybe even by mistake, but it still just feels natural.

That happened for a while with C+, but then we kind of drifted for a while, and now, for the most part, contact is uncomfortable. For example in March we would interact as if we were one mind in two bodies. THAT was comfortable. She would pass something for me to hold, I would take it without missing a beat and vise versa. We worked together in very close quarters putting up and foaming SIPs one day, and were both so natural about it; it was like working with Bernadette (my sister) on something.
I miss that feeling, and I know that we both operate based on a very concrete kind of trust, so without that interaction almost seems a bit like something has been lost in translation. However, she still will ask me to do things for her, and I will never say no.

When I set my heart to achieving a friendship, it seems to happen, and I am honoured that this friendship seems to be working, as I hold C+ in very high regard. She feels to me like a little sister, (Bernadette technically being my ‘big’ sister!), like a kid who has so much pure energy and enthusiasm, and honours me by taking the time to share her stories with me. Being the audience to one of C+’s conversations is a wonderful and energizing feeling. I could say this in so many ways, and it would never quite fully express or captivate the feeling I feel inside. The song ‘the whole of the moon’ helps describe it, though!

I would like to think of our interactions as a friendship, however, with my tendency to analyze I am sometimes very worried that she does not return that friendship. C+ is a very wonderful person. I have whole-heartedly adopted her into my ‘family circle’, which, given my real family circle, isn’t very big. It is reserved for a chosen few … you can call them best friends, or you can call them cousins. This circle includes Bernadette, Tina, Serafima, AT, Mom, C+, Claudia, Mrs. Hannon, and a few others I hold dear to my heart. These are the people who I would love to – and feel COMFORTABLE with – sharing my most pure and childlike joyful moments in my life.

drywall mudding, day3

This was an absolutely amazing day! DST took the opportunity to celebrate a client appreciation day by taking their clients to Habiat. That is, as far as I can tell, one of the best ways to appreciate your clients; give them a feeling that they are giving back to the world, and can be given a feeling that nothing else in the world can provide.

My crew today was drywall taping up in the trusses. This meant that about half my crew was in harness wondering up in the rafters. You know how much I would have LOVED to have participated in that event? I have never even been in harness, so I was grateful that the two Andrews on my team knew how to harness up.

But I had to stay at ground level and supervise my crew. I had between 10-12 people strong. There was a Mother-Daughter-Son team within this group; one of the A’s being the son who works in construction, currently working on the plumbing on a new wing for SunnyBrook hospital. The other Andrew I dubbed “Little John” at the beginning of the day and the name stuck so strongly that I just called him John for the whole day, and he was fine with it. I think he was flattered by the joviality, I enjoyed the lightheartedness as well; that was a GREAT crew! They were all amazing.

There was also one gentleman on my crew who I showed how to make a drywall taping rig, and after he knew how to do it, he went off and made four! His initiative was very impressive, and I appreciated it very much.

We were required to tape every seam in the front five units where the firewall touched firewall, and where firewall touched wood. The team used scrap sheets of OSB along the bottom of the trusses to create a platform to walk across, putting in a couple of nails for stability.

Andrew and Spiro seemed to work very well together, and Andrew had a nickname for Spiro; Sparrow. Such a day for nicknames! So I just started calling him by that name. That’s the kind of camaraderie I live for onsite; being able to witness, and be part of a team, in all its forms and levels. It’s refreshing and inspires confidence.

The heat that day was brutal, and Andrew and Sparrow were absolutely drenched in sweat by the afternoon, as they weren’t using an OSB platform, but just hooking up to any perpendicular beams and climbing through the trusses like a jungle gym. They were by far my superstar team that day, which is not something I make a big deal out of; to me a superstar team means that you teach them well, and leave them to do the work on their own for the rest of the day, confident that they can do the job put to them while you ensure the rest of the process runs smoothly, and those who need more help, get it. Andrew’s Mom and Sister were unwilling to go up into the rafters, so they were the tape ladies for that day, and by then I had the drywall tape mudding process down to an art, so their job was very smooth. We ended up going through 3 boxes of CGC that day; it was a VERY productive day.

Speaking of someone who needed a bit more help at the beginning, there was a woman there by the name of Maria, who switched out of her initial crew to learn how to drywall up in the rafters. She is a very good student and learns very quickly, so she only needed about 10-15 minutes of help and she was also fine. If need be she would ask me questions, but she also came up with solutions. She has since worked on my crew, and continued to uphold her high standards. She would learn as she needed to know things, and use her creativity to fill in the missing holes.

Little John, Andrew, and someone else became sub-crew leaders that day, so that they were the only ones talking to me. This was good seeing as I had so many people on my crew. At one point Little John had a question for me, and in my answer I included the fact that what we were doing was in fact just a re-do, based on very bad taping done previously. *sigh, such is Habitat.

This was also the last day for Ross, Mo, and the rest of Mike’s kids. They did a little photo, and Steph was there to congratulate them officially and see them off. It didn’t hit me until that day that I wish I could have gotten to know those kids better; a lot of them were very amazing kids, and I think I wouldn’t mind working with them again in the future. I will (and have) missed their presence around the site. I also miss Sean; I hope he comes back maybe in the fall to keep working on the next block of houses. I worked with him several times, and I enjoyed his energy and sense of humour.

window installation

Crewleader training, and window installation this week. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to C+ during the Crew Leader training, and especially the window installation; I always do. I enjoy her stories, and the energy she brings to any project she embarks on. She was talking to me today about her career dreams. This was a very wonderful conversation, I am glad we had it, and I would like to have it again in further depth.
The following notes are extensive instructions on window installation. The only thing missing from the experience is having actually HAD the experience!
Without further ado; window installation:

You will need
• Level
• Screw gun (Dewalt drill)
• Robertson bit
• Drill bits – 3/16”, 3/8”
• Measuring tape and pencil
• Shims (2+ dozen per window)
• Exterior Foam
• Exterior caulking
• Interior (latex) caulking
• 2 1/2” screws
• Cat’s paw

The Process
1. Before the window even goes in, you will need to measure 4 1/2” from the front edge of the frame to mark out the front edge of the window. For 2 x 6 sill frame and brick exterior, you need 1 ½” of the window on the outside of the frame. If a 2 x 6 is 5 ½”, then you set window 4” back from interior edge of sill. You can use a 2x4 4” block to ensure that the window is set back from the edge in a uniform manner (rather than measuring out along the edge).
* To prevent the window from falling out, you will need to have people on ladders holding the window in place before you can fasten it properly, or a 2x4 held in place on either side of the window using screws.
2. Holes need to be drilled 6” from the top and bottom of the window, and 6” from the sides. After that, there needs to be a hole every 2’ along the width. First mark out the holes on the window casement. Then drill with a 1/16” drill bit, going all the way through. The second hole will be drilled using a 3/8” bit, and will only go about a ½” through the casement.
3. Now it’s time to set the window in place, making sure that the inside of the window is flush with the marks on the 2x6.
4. Once the window is in place, you can drive in a couple of screws to hold the window in temporarily, to prevent it from moving forward while you drill the holes in the casement.
5. The next step is to shim up the bottom of the window, making sure that it is 3/8 from the frame, and then checking that it is still level across the length, adjusting the shims until the distance is correct, and the window is level. You will need a cat’s claw (flat end) to lift the end of the window, or the claw of your hammer will suffice. Note: The windows we will be installing are actually two windows set side by side in one piece of casement, so each side of the window needs two shims, making four all together across the bottom.
6. The next and most important step is to make sure that the window is level and square within the frame. This is where the biggest mistakes are made, so double check before drilling in your screws. To check if the window is level place your level vertically along the surface of the glass, so your shoulder has to be touching the window to read the level. If the window is not level, just adjust the window by pulling it forward or pushing it backwards a little. To check if the window is square, you need to measure across the diagonal, from one corner to the other. If the measurements are the same, the window is square. If not …
7. Now that the window is level and square, the screws can be drilled through the window casement and into the wood.
* Take a break to check that the window is in the right way up, and opens properly. Don’t laugh. It could happen. This is Habitat.
8. The sides and top of the window can now be shimmed, and once this process is complete, double check that the window is square, and adjust shims if necessary. On the sides, the shims are put in place just above the screws.
* Only shim ends (of top) if necessary – but not over centre of header – just foam that gap.
9. When putting the centre screw in the bottom, you need to first coat the lower half with exterior caulking. This is important because the windows will let some rain water in from the outer screen, and they have a system built into the window itself to drain out the water. If the screw in the centre at the bottom is NOT sealed properly, water will seep out of the hole and into the wood, where mold and mildew will begin, and could lead to later water damage.
10. Once the shims are firmly in place, and the window is level and square, use the foam to fill the gaps around the window, stopping wherever there is a shim. The foam needs to be heavy enough that it is opaque. You will notice as you are going along that there are still areas you can see light through; there is not enough foam there yet.
11. The last step, not shown in the diagram, would be to cut off the ends of the shims, and cover them over with a LATEX caulking (as opposed to exterior caulking, which will eat through the foam) touching the foam on either side, to create a good seal.
12. Ta-da! You are done! Congrats, now go and get some water.

Tidbit Break
Going home w C+ until Pape we talked about ounces (weight) of hammers, and the type of hammer heads there are. Lighter the hammer, the “weaker” it will be. Framing hammers with their waffle effect even grip the nail! To continue this tidbit, At Canadian Tire I have had the chance to wield a few hammers as we are putting them up on the shelves, and I am finding that the heavier ones really do have a noticeably smoother swing, and pack more of a punch then their lighter counterparts. I have recently been able to get a feel for the swing of a hammer and their different weights from merchandising them at CTR (Lakeshore and Leslie) where I work.

Women's Conference; The Power Within, Part I

This is a Woman’s Conference, and it’s called The Power Within. It was held in the Convention Centre (North, I believe) in Toronto, and it was a day that my family agreed was so good, so brilliant, that it was much too intense – all the information the speakers imparted on the audience, and the fact that so many brilliant speakers were packed into only eight hours made it off-paced. It could have been a little slower-paced, augmented with workshops and panels; I agree with that completely. But I also thoroughly enjoyed the day, and because I took notes I am able to appreciate the day more. These have helped to bring back other pertinent points in the conference. They can also bring the audience back to being there; everything that they sensed and remembered about the day.

Without further ado, let’s begin at my beginning.
Cassie Campbell gave the keynote speech, and because I am working on my hockey again, she was the biggest speaker of the day for me personally. They were all absolutely brilliant, it’s just that because my challenges to prevail over as a woman all lie in breakthroughs with physical strength and ability, and those are areas Cassie excels in, as well as team (sports-related) leadership, she would be the woman of the whole group that I would choose as a personal role model. Cassie addressed aloud in her speech what she was asked to talk about at the Conference; the Power Within. What is the Power Within, what feeds it, what it is made from … and she admitted throughout her speech that she couldn’t define it; she wasn’t able to pin-point it and hold it in her hands, but she made such a speech that it didn’t really matter. She illustrated that the power within, for her, came from teamwork, commitment, courage, and the ability to keep playing against all odds; to believe in your team.

She talked about everyday hockey challenges, and that you need to face these kinds of things everyday to become a better person, and a better player. She cited her successes and failures, both as a player, and on behalf of her team. With her unique perspective, she was able to do her part to bring her team together. She never really said very many things that she did personally as a team captain, but instead told the story of her team.

She talked about her team’s 1998 failure in Nagano, and how there was a lot of finger-pointing then, and how the team was on the edge. But that was the loss that drove them to improve their hockey and team player skills. That loss forced them to re-examine their perspective, and question, on an individual basis, why they were there at the Olympics.

Cassie talked about one of the predominant factors in their success being that they were constantly told they couldn’t achieve this next win, and that opposition gave them something to push against, and they pushed wisely. They pushed in the direction of their values. They trained incessantly. If they were accepted onto the Olympic Women’s Hockey team, they had to quite their jobs and train 3 times a day. They had another loss along the way as well, at the 2005 World Championships, which proved to them that facing their everyday hockey challenges was simply not enough, they needed to change their mentality from focusing on individual effort and finger pointing, to focusing on working as a team. From then forward, they adopted the slogan WAR – we are responsible; we are accountable for our actions on and off the ice; we are responsible for taking care of ourselves, and developing the team. They became responsible. THAT was their first step to becoming unstoppable.

However, their flight to the top was no easy ride. Cassie attributes the team’s pulling together and changing their attitude as brought about in part by Davidson’s influence. Melody Davidson was already working for the team as an assistant coach for the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City, and by the 2006 Olympics in Torino, she had become Head Coach. She took the team through rigorous training, not to mention took them to boot camp.

During this camp, they had the opportunity to witness a group of soldiers in full gear go through a grueling gauntlet, this was not just a jump-through-the-tires obstacle course, but involved climbing walls, crawling under barbed wires with all their gear on, etc. All the ladies on the team were then told to go through the same course, and NONE of them finished it. The key factor in this course, however, was not so much a test of skill as set out by Davidson, but a test of courage, team commitment, and the ability of those girls to step up to the plate and do something for the team. There were three or four girls who, when called on, wouldn’t even try the course. This was when Davidson began to question these people, and their ability to be members of that team. I don’t think any of those girls made the Olympic team. As I mentioned earlier, Cassie honestly admitted that none of them finished the gauntlet, even though they were all trained athletes, but everyone who tried it was able to prove that day that they were committed to the team. If they failed, they would fail as a team, but at least they all tried. That boot camp was perhaps the bonding experience that united that team, the way Cassie described it at least. It would be too, they were treated like soldiers; their wake-up call would come early in the morning, (6 or 7, I believe) and they would fall back into their beds, exhausted, at about 10pm after seven training sessions each day.

I think that boot camp would bond just about any team, but that’s not the only thing that Cassie cited as a factor in their success. She took into consideration something I believe that many women can understand; that teamwork for women is unique. It involves so much more than just being out on the ice together – that is not enough. Being a true team for women means that you really do eat, sleep and breathe “team”. You need to build up a trust with your team members. Cassie discussed this “dressing room dynamic” as being a critical part of a female team. She made a good point, saying that in women’s teams, the social aspect is huge, and even then, it can be extremely difficult to get right. You need to be able to communicate, or you don’t have a team. She asked us how many times you have been in an argument with a girl friend, or been angry, and someone asks you what is wrong and you say “nothing”. So you don’t talk, the other person doesn’t talk, and everyone can sense something is brewing.

Cassie said that kind of thing happened occasionally on the team, but that the most important piece of advice she would have for that situation is to address any issues you have with the person you have them with immediately. Don’t wait for it to come to a boil, don’t tell another group of people, and then let the other person know by committee, just take them aside, privately, and tell them straight out. That is risky business, even though it’s the best thing to do. Believe me, I’ve tried. You need to know what you are feeling, and that you have tried your best to change, first. You also need to know that this is something you need to tell the other person, and it is directly related to you, not just something you feel the other person needs to change about themselves. It is a tricky rope to walk, but Cassie is right, you need to keep the lines of communication open. If done properly, this can be a huge proponent in gaining the other girl’s trust.

You need to build up experiences together outside of hockey. You need to have some fun together, get to know each other, not as best friends, but at least to build a trust in one another. By sharing, by bonding. You need to go out with your team members and make sure you are in constant communication with them. You can take them out to coffee, lunch, beer, anything as long as you talk.

Cassie talked about playing roles on and off the ice, and said that the biggest thing you can do to support your team is to let everyone know that they are making a contribution, and that their efforts are recognized. That was something she was called on to do by one of her team members, who felt that the defense wasn’t being recognized well enough – a valid issue, as the big thing in hockey is points, and defense usually are not a big part of the point system in the game. Yes, it would be nice to invent a point system for the defense, or some way to recognize them, but Cassie didn’t have that choice. She asked her teammate what she wanted her to do. “I don’t know” was her response “you are the team captain; it’s up to you to think of something.” Cassie was then faced with a unique problem; how to acknowledge these behind the scenes players so that they feel equal members of the team? The answer lay in a t-shirt. A simple t-shirt, decorated with symbols that meant a lot to the defensive team, presented to them in the dressing room and explained to them, every symbol on each shirt a tribute to the girl’s connection to the team, their own personal contributions, and their contributions as a defensive unit made all the difference in the world. Never underestimate the power of making someone feel like they are making a contribution to the team.

To wrap-up her experiences with her team, Cassie brought us back to the beginning and showed us how far her team had come; they had set a standard that the entire world could not beat, and continued to set it, holding up a challenge to the rest of the world and saying that if you want to be the best, this is what you have to do. You have to eat, sleep and breathe team. You have to be responsible. You have to train three times a day, every day. You have to do more than face the everyday challenges; you have to go out and make challenges of your own, and when you have achieved all of those, you need to reach even higher, and achieve even more.

The Power Within, for Cassie, was not just about her team, but also about the whole Olympic experience. She illustrated that through a couple of video clips full of people winning and losing. Of people making it through to the top of the podium, and people who fell along the way. The emotions at the Olympics, whether positive or negative, are overwhelming and crushing. They are bigger than any person there and every person there, and it takes a certain type of power, once you are at the Olympics, to perform at the top of the world. Those videos were very powerful. I remember the crying and the injuries most of all, because those were the people whose bobsleds were upended and became bowling pins to their own high-speed bowling ball, or missed a jump and were thrown down the rest of the hill, or slipped on their speed skates and went crashing into the boards, sobbing, not because of their specific injury, but because in a split second everything they had trained for was gone. That takes power to endure.

There is so much out there that Cassie has contributed, and this post doesn’t even cover her entire speech, but here is a snippet of some of Cassie’s experiences directly with Torino: http://www.cbc.ca/olympics/athletes/diaries/campbell/entry5.shtml

drywall mudding, day2

Today we were working with a school group, and these were the type of people who did not, for the most part, want to be at Habitat. There was one young woman, however, who was the same caliber of learner as Maria, as one instruction was all she needed to do an absolutely gorgeous job. She also had her own system going, and began to build up her own habits, which would allow her to do quality work at a very good speed.

Most of the group needed a large amount of babysitting, and were still more interested in continuing their own backstabbing arguments during the day then getting work done. It was very disgustingly dramatic. I also had the opportunity to show Barb how to do drywall taping so that she would be able to take half the team, as that group was about 4 hands-full!

drywall mudding, day1

Today was my first day (of what would be three) doing drywall taping. I had a corporate group today, which was good because I needed people who could bring their own initiative and intelligence to the project. I am good at teaching, but I would prefer to move forward and make progress then deal with people who have no skills, no desire to be there, and who are little troublemakers.

This day also started off a little slower, but it continued to go well as the day went on. Within this group there was a group of sisters. One of them (the older of the two) asked me who she thought was older. I would have said her sister, but then I looked at what was really there. Look at their height, look at the look in their eyes, look at who they ARE, not what they look like stereotypically on the first glance, or because of their height. And I got it right.

Happy Mother’s Day!

My Mother is an amazing person. She is a wonderful storyteller, she is passionate, she is committed to promoting education, and helping others. Everything she does touches someone, positively, in some way.

She has taken a world where she may have had very little positive happy light, and created a world where there is positive in everything. That is the world that she brought my sister and I into, and that is the world she brought us up in. One example of how she puts everything in s positive light is in her presentation of my paternal Grandmother. She passed away a few years ago, but while she was around, Mom would tell me stories about her, about how she loved the birds, about how she loved going for walks, especially in the North York Cemetary, because she just found that place very peaceful. She also told me about how Grandma was a very strong woman; she signed herself into a hospital, and took herself off an open-ended prescription for Valium that some doctor gave her after her husband died.

Most importantly about this example, is that it was through my Mother that I came to love my Grandma. My Mother’s view of Grandma made her a wonderful person. I realised this the first time I was walking to work and heard a cardinal, just a couple of months ago, and thought of Grandma, but what got to me was that it wasn’t Grandma who taught me about the cardinal, it was Mom. It’s Mom’s voice that I hear saying: “when you hear that call ‘bir-dee, bir-dee, bir-dee!’ THAT is a cardinal. That’s what Grandma told me.” I remember loving Grandma so much, but that is because of Mom.

So, thank you Mom. When I do something good in this world, when I see people, especially women, for their beauty and their strength, it’s because of you. When I recognize the strength of a woman’s love, or a mother’s love, or recognize the accomplishments of women in this world, and can find love, respect and compassion (even 4 Nana sometimes!) it is ALL because of the person you are, and have taught me to be.

Thank you for giving me this world, thank you for all your help, and your hope, and your strength. Thank you for teaching me how to see the good things in this world, and showing me how to be strong. These are lessons that, although I may stray from, will always give me strength, and allow me to know that I am capable of having faith, and being good in this world.
I love you.
Happy Mother’s Day.

Recognition

Recognition is not like attention, as attention is usually given as the result of something either negative about a person or situation, or just something that “is”. For example, if a person IS blind, and they receive attention for it, they are not being given that attention based on qualities they have honed, good things they have done, their accomplishments, their compassion, or any other thing that they are as a person, but just for a fact that they had no control over. Recognition on the other hand carries a very prestigious quality to it. Recognition is something that is handed down, and is not only rewarding for the one receiving it, but for the one giving it as well. It is a quality in and of itself if you are qualified to give it to someone else. It says that either you are able to truly recognize the talents in someone else even if you do not share them (in this way akin to empathy) or from another point of view that you have earned this recognition yourself, and are able to now pass it down to the next generation of hard workers who you recognize as going through the same struggles as you did and having the same potential as you (in this way, it shows qualities of self-awareness, as well as openness and willingness to pass information and training down to the next generation).

Recognition seems to be part of a cycle. You behave properly, live up to a standard, go through the appropriate hoops, and reach a certain level of achievement. In turn, others who have already reached those standards or that level of achievement acknowledge your accomplishments, and encourage your behaviour with positive feedback. This can be the most difficult element in dealing with others, especially if they seem to need it to move forwards. But we ALL need it, and we ALL need to bestow it on others. When we share encouragement and recognition of each other, we create the external cycle of progress in production, and a successful system. When this cycle is broken, power struggles, lack of motivation, decreased standards, and conflict usually ensues.

There is also an internal cycle of recognition, which is just as important as the external cycle, and cannot exist in isolation. In this cycle, each person needs to realize when she/he does things that are aligned with their goals, and reward themselves for that behaviour. They need to encourage wanted behaviour in themselves, and recognize that there is a growth process, one that includes making mistakes along the way, in achieving their goals. Every success should be recognized from within, and every unnecessary fear should be something they just let go.

These two cycles of recognition need to work in tandem in order for motivation and positive production to result. If a person recognizes themselves internally, but receives no outward recognition, they will most likely slow down, and lose motivation. They may simply be dealing with no outward recognition, or they may even be dealing with a system that, however subtly or outright, degrades their position and denies them status. On the other hand, if a person receives recognition, but denies themselves the right to it; tells themselves that they in fact do NOT deserve it and that those bestowing the recognition (if it is genuine) are too stupid to see reality they are engaging in an equally destructive process.

External recognition is especially important if someone is just learning a new process, and cannot be expected to know whether or not they are doing the right thing. But it can’t end there. Recognition needs to be constant, and there are even whole courses of study that examine the different forms recognition can take. The point is that recognition is necessary, and it is a positive and productive path towards growth, one that invariably rewards all parties involved.

Crew Leader; Day three

On my third day as a Crew Leader my job was to starting prepping the back of the units, and gift-wrap the block with Tyvek; a weatherization vinyl, which helps to keep moisture away from the wood, and exterior air away from interior air. This group consisted of a highschool group, one of their teachers (Brian II) and Andrew Chau, who finally had the time to come out and join the crew … MY crew this time. Andrew and I had just worked the entire previous week on creating an information design poster about Sustainable Architecture, which failed miserably as per the contest judges, but at least we had a lot of fun doing the project, we did it on our own, and now have a solid portfolio piece.

The first item of business that day was to work on sealing the pieces of OSB with Acoustiseal – nasty sticky black tar, essentially. The weather was hot today, so that stuff came out easily, but was very difficult to use without getting everywhere. Another problem were the cages. One of them was missing a plate, so the bolt kept punching through the bottom end of the tube of caulking, and under the pressure the Acoustiseal would come out the back – disgusting number one. We fixed that with a piece of wood to act as a substitute for the metal plate on the gun. Once that was working, we went through two more guns through technical difficulties. I brought them out to C+, and her and I tried to fix them … meanwhile, I had left my crew to their jobs, and need to get back to them. I used a plastic bag over my hand to try to fix the cage, but C+ just used her hands, so they were getting all black and sticky.

I eventually left when Andrew came around to get me, and C+ finished fixing the guns for me. When she was done, I took off her wrist braces and we used grade (stones) as a pumice along with a water bucket to clean our hands. Once all the seams of OSB were sealed we moved on to begin putting up the Tyvek using staple guns. Everything we could do without using a zoom boom we did, and we got the entire back of the house wrapped.

The final element of the day was to get nails into the SIPs along the side of the house, as Brian mentioned that they hadn’t been nailed in yet. So out with the ladders, and my entire team was working on hammering for the last hour or so of the day. At least all the girls got to learn how to hammer.

Today I also “let one of my crew members go” as they were being disrespectful and just a general pain in the butt, so in the early afternoon I had apparently inherited another crew member, and when I saw that guy at the back, dripping with ego and attitude, I faced off with him. And I won. I kept it joking around, but told him that he was welcome to find another crew if he didn’t like this one, and so he took off. I got in no trouble, because nothing “wrong” happened, he just wasn’t right for the job he was working on, and needed to change crews. Sean was also in my crew, and I miss him. He’s supposed to be doing construction project management next year at George Brown, but in the meantime he’s off working on his family cottage.

Crew Leader; Day two

On my second day as a Crew Leader I didn’t do anything much again … well, it was still important; clean-up will always be important! Today was a major clean-up of sawdust, spare wood, nails, etc across all 10 units, second and third floor. The exciting part in today was that we were constrained by time; the wood recycling was there at about 10:30am. The wood recycling will take the scrap wood and use it to make many things, including woodchips and fertilizer. Here’s a nice bit for all you vegans / vegetarians; chicken guts are used in the process to make fertilizer, as well as wood. That then enriches the soil and feeds the plants. So are you really eating chicken vegan salad? ;-)

Tidbit break!
Yesterday, I was not able to answer the question of what Tyvek does. Since I forgot to ask Bruce or Brian, I found out online. Tyvek “is used to increase air and water resistance, helping to lower heating and cooling costs in buildings and providing better protection against water and moisture intrusion. The unique qualities of Tyvek help stop air flow through wall cavities; help hold out bulk water and wind-driven rain; and allow moisture vapor to escape from inside walls. The result is a more comfortable, energy-efficient building with far fewer chances for damage from degradation effects.”

Habitat for Humanity, 4200 Kingston Rd.

April 20th
This was my first day as a crew leader. My big presentation came in the morning behind the first block of houses. It was very informal, and had no frills or big announcement. To me, recognition is more important than anything else. I don’t like big “to-dos”. So it was one of the best moments at Habitat by far; Bruce gave me an orange shirt with my assignment that day.

My big assignment? Wait for it ... taking nails out of wood and digging two 6’ holes (they weren't planning to bury, anyone, were they?) BUT it was with the York University Alumni group and I am a Alumna, so that made it all better!

For my first crew ever, I lead about 7 volunteers through these tasks. The first, as I mentioned, was to take apart the railings out behind the first block, and sort the wood into the wood that can be kept, and the wood that would go to wood recycling later. My second task to manage was to dig two holes to try to determine which unit had the broken water pipe in front of it. Although we tried to rotate the job of digging throughout the day, I must give credit where credit is due, in that James Allen and Paul carried out most of the work in getting these 6’ deep holes dug. I can also sincerely say that my whole crew enjoyed their day, as did I. There were a lot of laughs, we were very productive, and we all had the fascinating experience of digging a hole (something I have never done before, and despite its reputation, thoroughly enjoyed) and taking nails out of wood. The thing is, the project was genuinely fun, and the team dynamic made it that way. It was also buoyed by the York University connection we all shared.

Habitat for Humanity: Friday April 13th! Oh no!

Today I worked with Sean directly, and Ken I believe. This was to be my last day as a non-Crew Leader. The day started off with Brian explaining to Sean what to do. I came along not too much later, and asked what was going on with this group (only the three of us) Sean told me, and continued on with his work.

Now I am stuck not knowing a term. (what's new?) What we were working on is not a TGI beam (which I have now heard called LBL ... ack!), but the beam that looks like several layers of plywood fused together, and has a furniture-style finish to it. They are the heaviest pieces in the structure of the house, and the only pieces that are left uninterrupted to run the length of the structure.

Anyway, our task was to drill a hole all the way through, and a pilot hole to sink the bolt. We needed a washer and bolt to secure them in place, and we needed to sink the bolt where this board would face out onto a stairwell, because drywall would eventually end up having to sit there. We encountered a great many challenges, but throughout the day I also found myself taking on a crew leader role; assigning tasks, creating a system to getting things done and following-up with my team members. It was only at the end of the day that I realized Brian might have wanted Sean to crew-lead that day, but in the end, I don’t think Sean really minded.

Some of our challenges were as follows:
1. Not drilling pilot holes at first, and bolting the bolts onto the board, then having to take them off and redo them with the 1 1/8” pilot hole included
• Solution: don’t be a dork; pay attn to instructions the first time around!
2. Measuring no more than 14” apart of the bolts, but still making sure that the holes we drilled were far enough away from the joist hangers that we could get the bolt and washer in there
• Solution: some creative measuring on my part, and then passing that off to Sean so he could complete the measurements all the way down the length of the board.
3a) Drilling a pilot hole too far
3b) Running out of bolts
• Solution: Using a shorter bolt where we had drilled the pilot hole too far!
4. The drill bit not extending far enough to drill through the board
• Solution: At first we just switched sides so we could complete the hole, but then I went to Dave with the problem, and he cut the Flathead off a 1” flat head drill bit, so that we had a 1” extension bit, which was all we needed to be able to drive the hole right through the board.

In the afternoon, I was working on drilling the holes right through the board, and Sean and Ken were working on finishing the holes, bolting, and drilling the pilot holes where needed (in the stairwell only). At one point I was standing on a ladder, and using the hammer drill (with the 5/8” spade bit) to drill through the wood and because of the amount of force I had to put behind the drill, combined with the fact that the ladders would “walk” if they were not perfectly steady, resulted in the ladder at one point just deciding it wanted to dump me off. So it tilted fatally to one side, and I was left with no reliable ladder under me. Reacting fast, I grabbed onto the TGI beams I was standing in the middle of, just barely managing to keep hold of the drill (the brand new hammer drill Dave took out of the box just for me) and I swore. Then I yelled at one of Mike’s kids to grab the ladder. I was very grateful for that kid’s fast reaction time.

So that was my Friday the 13th adventure.

Outside

This year has been very beautiful so far. I guess it’s part because not having to meet school deadlines for the first time is very liberating. I am free to go out for walks whenever I please; it's only a half hour or forty-five minutes extra out of my day. Lately I have been taking advantage of this opportunity by walking to and from the gym (two 45 minute walks), or, like today, walking to work from the station, and back home from another station (two 30 minute walks). Mind you, building a walk to/from the gym makes for two solid hours of exercise.

It’s so lovely to cut short the TTC ride home, or to work, and walk to my destination from the closest subway station. I was able to put a 30min walk from the station to work today, and despite the cold (or perhaps in part BECAUSE of the cold) the walk was lovely. I find the houses there so quaint and inviting, they all face out into the street and are all so beautiful, and they are SMALLER homes. Quite expensive, no doubt, because of the area, but they are all well loved, and they all have their own character. None of them are the same brick boxes, like the Markham houses all too often seem to be.

I have areas like that around my home as well, and both areas have their own bits of nature. On the way to work, the lawns are very beautiful, and in the summer the gardens and landscaping are picturesque. On the way home, the backyards are facing the street, but the "public" lawns are lined with trees; so these areas make for really beautiful walks. I have tried to get out on regular walks all throughout the winter, my tolerance for the weather tempered by my participation at Habitat, no matter what the clime.

I thought I would just post this little message, as I have a few spare minutes to reflect on the small joys of life right now, the small spaces that I make for myself to think. It’s a shame more people feel they are “too busy” in Toronto to take these walks. If you make the time, there are simple beautiful bits of nature all around you, even in Toronto. I personally enjoy the cold. It presents a challenge that many other people don’t like. It’s fun to get bundled up, and get a giggle out of the fashion ppl who freeze in their cute coats, while I walk around warm and happy, and completely comfortable being bundled up. I am not as comfortable in summer fashions as I am in a nice fuzzy coat. Nature seems so much more beautiful when the air is frigid.

Well, just randomly blogging, but I think I will enjoy going out walking this spring! Hope to see you out there!

The Proper Woman

Sometimes it’s difficult to NOT feel that I am lacking as a proper woman. I feel that I need to be happier, I need to be kinder, I need to stand up less for myself and fit in to being “a woman” better. A proper woman. Someone who never says to someone outright that they don’t like them; they keep that kind of statement inside, or someone who will make anyone feel important by laughing at all their jokes, being super sweet with them even if they hate the person. I’m not saying this because I in any way do not like people who are like that, but just because it is an example of something I don’t think I could do. However, I consider that is the good thing to do. When people say that I can’t use other standards of good and bad, or should eliminate those concepts from my vocabulary altogether, I sometimes find even that difficult, as it seems to be a way of saying, here’s what not to do; do not see good and bad. But I won’t tell you what is good replacement system for that system, which they are essentially saying is bad. Ack! They continues on to say that you need to find out the systems out there that exist in the first place, for yourself, and practice them, and then you come back to me with the answers you’ve found for yourself.

Well, I sometimes feel that I need some sort of good/bad system to work by, to steer myself in the right direction. Not the ‘easy’ way of just insulting or judging things you don’t like, but by creating a system of standards to strive towards. Those are the levels of compassion. There are also differences in the way compassion is labeled. As a male, you could dominate conversations across the board, but still be considered compassionate, and a wonderful person, even if you never let a woman get a word in edgewise. However, if a woman is that same type of person, her compassion is not recognized as much as is her “outwardly aggressive behaviour”. Yes, that still happens even today.

People say it’s okay, it’s not good or bad, it’s just a personality difference … and one person will try to get the other person to talk, while another type of person wants to be encouraged to talk. Is THIS part of the example of the “modern”, clinging feminine/masculine traits? The male should be the one to dominate in the conversation, and the “other” should just listen, and encourage them to talk? What about the female who does not actually play to that role; who won’t be the student? Who won’t be the dutiful listener? Who takes the initiative to talk unabashedly even if it is “out of turn” or expresses the “wrong” opinion? Especially if they expect the person they are talking with to sit back and obediently listen to them for a while, instead? (Enter Tick Tock, a book by Jay Ingram, and his analysis of male/female conversations that happen even today).

To put it another way, I am finding it difficult to measure my own progress towards my goals in terms of values. Being compassionate takes work, but I am capable of doing it. I also continue to speak my emotions, to have strong opinions, to speak my mind, even if that means starting a conflict. Some people really do not like this kind of behaviour, and hold it up in a bad light, whether because they disagree with my point of view (think I am wrong) or disagree with me expressing a point of view. But I would feel very uncomfortable not expressing my opinions, or emotions; constricted, claustrophobic, ignored. I feel comfortable in the presence of strong women; women who speak their mind – this is a kind of woman of whom I know several.

These women will actually behave in ways some may find “aggressive”. For example, they will unabashedly say they don’t like someone, and may be nice to them, but will speak out against that person and make sure their opinions are heard. They won’t sit back and choke on their opinions just to be nice. They are often not stereotypically feminine either. They might be unmarried and perhaps living with siblings, they might be married and not have children, they might be an entirely independent university professor, (notice I have people in mind, I am just not saying names!) I consider these women to be “good”, and more importantly, I see them as being happy people. Perhaps I am searching for (role models) some women who I feel are mirrors of me, who reflect my personality, and who have also come through with their own lives and are successfully living the same kind of lifestyle I see myself in, whether married, or single.

Even expressing and exploring the qualities I wish to develop gives me confidence. It re-enforces my goals and how I envision my lifestyle. It helps me to define more clearly what I want and what I don’t want in my dealings with other people; not just women, but men as well. Knowing what qualities I want to develop will help me to realize when I am on or off track with my goals, and recognizing these qualities in others, in order to emulate them.

It also allows me to recognize that there are women who behave appropriately feminine, whether an element of sexism, personality, or a mix of both, which result in more acceptance by the mainstream, and potentially easier success in life. I can accept these people, and refuse to allow ‘masculine’, ‘feminine’, ‘non-feminine’, ‘sexist’, ‘good’ or ‘bad’, to be the defining words of whether or not I accept people.

I realize that I need to accept people based on what I feel, as far as I can understand as a person, is acting based on morals – being proactive, being kind, being honest, being truthful, being unafraid to express themselves but not to ends that are destructive to others, to not be afraid to assert themselves, to take care of themselves and others; these are all qualities I look for in a successful person. I have my own personal goals as to what I want to achieve as a woman, and I am capable, as exemplified by other role models in my life, of achieving these goals without having to sacrifice a feeling of happiness along the way. I am not the first one to feel that they do not fit in to the mainstream definition of female, nor will I be the first one to find that through time, I will be able to find the person who I want to become, already within myself.

Ten things they never taught in design school, and one thing they did

I recently read a post by Michael McDonough called the “Top Ten Things They Never Taught Me in Design School”, and previous post by McDonough called “Graphic Design and the New Certainties”, as well as its follow-up comments.

In his most recent posting, he seems to be looking back on his education, and pointing out the real-world lessons that are lacking in design school, and in the previous posting he speculates about secret cravings of designers, and their definitions of design. In the follow-up to that posting, a set of questions are posted by a certain Michael B., who wonders why designers spend so much time scratching out their purpose in life, and while they are doing that, not productively designing.

I think that kind of philosophy is one thing we DID learn in design school, or if not, at least innately carry around with us. But then again, it’s all just part of our career, and the type of people we are. To pick up on one responder to Michael’s comment, Rick Poyner states, that “Design's professional uncertainties are unusual, though. Do dentists agonise about their calling like this? Do hotel managers? Do bus drivers? One essential difference with design is that it's a form of public communication, and that takes us into questions of identity, representation, the public good and, yes, even politics.”

Designers come in all sorts, some are much more business focused, and some are very creative, but I think many designers still tend to look in at themselves and question the jobs we do just to make sure that we uphold our values. We have the ability, in fact it is our job to communicate, and even though we just design someone else’s product, and then leave, we become as much an owner of the product as the client, because we have invested our aesthetic abilities and our best efforts into the work. A dentist’s questions might include the tools, techniques, and methods for carrying out root canals. A designer’s questions are usually deeper, and more personal than that, regarding our own identities and roles in the communication of information. But relative to our respective fields of work, the questions are the same.

It is a question asked of all design students, some from art backgrounds, and some even “muggle-born” designers before entering the real world. We were asked to define design and our role in it to ourselves and to the world. For students, it’s a way of aligning ourselves with the personalities who we will be working with for the rest of our lives, especially if we work in studios. It’s not something that is tested or questioned officially in any course, although it acts as the first opportunity for us to put to words what we have learned over the last four years and create a mission statement of sorts, a set of goals and values that we can look back on in five years and either correct according to reality, find we need to re-align ourselves with, or satisfactorily find that we have lived out thus far.

I think that for a profession comprised of so many creative, value centred individuals, this set of questions is not a bad set of tools to carry around in our back pockets, along with our USB keys and graphite pencils, useful especially when starting a new project, or faced with communicating new, and possibly controversial set of issues to design of in our career.

For further reading, here are the things we weren’t taught in design school!

Crowning studs and party walls

Tidbit Break
Crowning a stud. To crown a stud, you sight along the length of it, and if it curves along the length of the board, you want it to “frown” when using it in a frame, so that the act of nailing it into the frame will attempt to straighten the board. A crown itself is the upward bow, curve or rise along the length of a board.

Today we put up a party wall on the third floor, and I discovered that there’s always room for improvement in my math skills! I was building again with Lorraine today (I love her energy and bubbly personality!) and just like last week with the bay window project, Lorraine and I were both taking the initiative to try to figure out what the procedure to the project was, so today we both knew we were building a party wall; we were in the middle of the project, and after lunch we still both went up and tried to measure out the length for the party wall and act as though we were going to build it on our own.

We talked through how many pieces of wood we would need based on a frame built with studs 12” on centre. To do both sides of the party wall, we concluded we would need 26 studs; 13 on each frame. However, when Roger came back up and we were discussing things with him, I said we would need 26 studs for the one side. Lorraine agreed with me. That didn’t sound right to Roger, and so he was measuring things, and we were remeasuring things, and he came up with the number 13! Well of course it’s 13, Roger, I was just trying to see if you were paying attention! We wouldn’t want you to miscount anything now, would we!? (oops!)

I learned a lot that day though. It was probably my most productive framing day ever. It started off with finishing putting the OSB on another bay window, and putting that window into place. I wanted to help lift the window, but Bruce made me Level Girl, so I had to run around with the level and tell people where to put the window and when we could put in the brace.

Then I moved on to putting up a party wall. That project involved building four frames, each about 156” long, spaced at least ¾” apart to accommodate for the drywall that will go in between the walls. We had to crown the studs first. Building the frame itself is fairly simple, so it was a very rewarding project, because you can put most of your effort into the strategy of the project, and the actual process is fairly repetitive, and in that way, almost calming.

I also made use of this opportunity to really cut down on the time it took me to drive a nail. Speaking of hammers … there was this one kid there today who had the most awesome hammer I have ever seen; the only thing you need to have is impeccable aim, and it does the rest of the work – it’s even a “self setting” hammer! I need one of those for framing! It has a nail-shaped indent along the top, and a magnet to hold the nail in place while you set it with one strike, then you can drive it in with about three more strikes. Bloody awesome!

Lunch that day was also nice – it was just warm enough to not need coats at lunch time, and C+ was taking a nap, while Lorraine, Corey and I talked, with C+ joining in occasionally. We talked about everything from carpenter’s unions, to working in Vancouver to stickers on your hard hat / helmet and whether or not they were allowed. It was just a very relaxing lunch; one of those times when I felt just comfortable to be there, and like that was where I belonged.

Framing a Bay Window

Wow am I ever behind on my blogs! It is July 7th today and I am just doing this blog now! This was the day we put up the bay window frame. I was working with Lorraine and Jim to do this, as well as Mike, Bruce, maybe Roger, etc. The most entertaining part of today by far was when I was hammering in part of the frame and Jim makes a comment about the intensity of my concentration … something connected with PMS … ? Well, I ignored that comment, but Gerhard was there and pipes up “what is PMS?” I couldn’t resist. Laughing, I looked straight at Jim and said “Okay go ahead; explain it!” He has never made a comment like that again. Thank you Gerhard!
That made him very aware of what he had just said, and that he would have to take ownership of his comment. He got cold feet, and couldn’t explain himself!

But I digress. At this point in time, I am still un-orange-shirted. Today, I will teach the world how to build a Bay Window in 6 easy steps! Try this at home - go ahead ... it won't work, but you can try it anyway!
1. To build a bay window, you start the same as you would with any section of frame; you toe-nail in your baseplate to the edge of the wall, making sure you are 3.5” in from the edge. (I vaguely remember something about Tyvek and PL Acoustiseal before you do that, but as I said, I am writing this July 7th for March 23rd, so the brain’s a little foggy on the details!)
2. You mark out your studs, jacks and cripples and build your frame. I believe the bay window we were building was 60”-h by 85”-w.
3. After you build your first frame you attach a 12” piece to each of the outside corners of the window, and start to build your next frame around those extensions. This frame is much smaller though, so it’s like that baby’s toy with all the coloured rings on the white pylon, each one smaller than the previous. Think of that toy in square form.
4. Once we got the second level of the bay window frame constructed, we covered the entire outer surface of the frame with OSB.
5. once that was on, we were able to erect that frame, all 700lbs of it (or at least it felt that way!)
6. Once it is up, you make sure it’s level, put your braces in place, and tada! Bay window!

Post-secondary Financial Advice

I am no financial guru, but I do have a bank account, and my own experiences financially. I am also in a very tricky situation at the moment. But rather than let my current financial experiences go to waste, I would like to share them with those post-secondary blog readers out there who may benefit from my experiences.

Let me introduce myself. I would like a credit card. I have no credit history, and since I have just graduated from University last year I have also started my own business. Since the end of last year, I have been self-employed. However, within the fiscal year of 2006, I have been employed for 11 out of 12 months. For the past 7-8 years I have been part-time employed and a full-time student, who has never taken out OSAP, not because of “Mommy and Daddy” paying for me, but because I have earned enough money to pay for my own education, and not spent a penny of it recklessly; always keeping education goals in mind. My one mistake (I will reveal the official “a-ha” moment later) was that I ignored the credit card pitches lining the halls of my University's retail area. I had done this with the goal of wise spending in mind, and doggedly avoiding the overspending and credit-card carry-overs that so often ensue such plastic ownership. I am chiding myself now for such false wisdom, lack of trust in myself, and ignorance.

Since November or December last year I began to approach banks for their services as a post-secondary graduate. As a sign of their understanding, compassionate nature, they do not acknowledge the existence of people between graduation and their first full year of work as eligible for loans or credit cards, especially those with no credit history. Graduation, by the way, is usually in the summer months of the year (so June or July), which would give you 6 months of job search time. Heaven forbid you choose to open your own business, because anyone who is self-employed and does not have a credit card is also not considered “secure enough” financial to receive one. To re-iterate that last statement, people who are self-disciplined enough to work on their own time, willing to risk failure in business, manage their own money, and manage their very own financial department are not considered feasible investments. On the other hand, banks support hundreds of customers who have gone into overdraft at the bank, had their card previously revoked, and simply make enough money, despite their proven inability to manage their finances.
Think about that.

Banks will not accept anything but current employment in their current credit policy. But what do they define as "current" as on their form, the "current employment" section is defined as the 2006 fiscal year. So I have been employed for 11 months of the current fiscal (tax?) year, and have made a fair deal from those earnings, but once I go solo, the banks are no longer interested.

Because I have not been out of school for a full year, and have not earned my first $35,000 of Bank-acknowledged, officially employed salary, I have found it difficult to put my annual earnings down on any credit-card application. I have tried at my own bank. I have now tried at one other bank – which will remain un-named – and was turned down, and just today at a third bank; the most hopeful and helpful one I have encountered yet.

Today’s account manager was willing to listen to me, acknowledge my choices, no credit card so far, and work with me to gather the information she needed to create a credit card account for me. She suggested solutions to me that showed evidence of thinking outside the box, such as the Secured Visa, based on a term deposit: should you ever carry a balance, they will dip into your term deposit to pay it, and should you be clean, you will build up a credit history AND have your shiny term deposit to prove you really were a good girl all along! To re-iterate that statement, she put effort into learning about me, she showed interest in my case, and she approached me as if I was her only client, and that my situation meant something to her, that she would work for me, and try to solve my problems. Even if she is not able to do that, I will not fault her for trying. It is her obvious effort and interest that would inspire me to work with her, and has given me the energy to work with renewed energy at getting a credit card. It was when she asked why I hadn’t taken one of those deals that was offered to me in the halls of my post-secondary institution that my mistake hit home. She was willing to work with me, and for once I wanted to have something I could present to her to give her a foot-hold (wow, someone inspired to Help their banker in a fuzzy kind of way!) but because I had refused these offers, I had nothing to give.

Contrast that with my stubborn willingness to hold on to my current decisions that my own bank’s account manager inspired in me through her cold-hearted aloofness, coated with fake happiness and helpfulness. The account manager there has refused me a loan because I have no credit history, then, as opposed to recognizing that I have been a customer for a decade and trying to help me, she suggested I try to get a retail card, like Sears. She also failed to suggest to me services that her bank might provide that would act as a work-around for me; something that would be beneficial both to me and to them. However, she has accepted her own version of a brain-washed attitude that seems to forgo any creative thought, any customer-focused problem solving, and any positive attitude.

Well, I tried Pier One, and they refused me for the same reason my own account manager has - in my 6 months after graduation, I have not made enough money. I can understand that situation with a bank or retail enterprise that does not know me, but to receive such ignorance and narrow-mindedness from my own bank is inexcusable. So, watching my account build for a decade means nothing to you, woman? At another bank I am greeted by someone willing to hear all my information and work with me to put together my case receive a secured line of credit, and you just dismissively say to me “try Sears and come back to us in six months honey”. This is my banks’ customer service. Bugger that.


So my lesson that I hope I can impart on anyone reading this is that banks are very peculiar. Even though they have clients who cost them hundreds of thousands every year in credit card balances and debt, they can take NO risks. So if you are in post-secondary, and you are given the opportunity to get a credit card - TAKE IT. Even if you have only four months before you graduate, four months of credit history makes a mountainous difference over none at all. You will now be recognized by a credit bureau. They will have an account on you. I am almost willing to go back to school simply to receive a credit card, because at least as a student, the banks can once again see me.

My search for a credit card and a bank who is willing to work with me (because saying who will love me is too much to ask for) continues, and maybe tomorrow I will be told that I have been given a credit card, and that my exceptional case has been accepted by the bank. That they are willing to meet me half-way, if I agree to a term deposit, and that they will give me the chance to get a credit history.